Remember your worth

Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.

They don't take "no" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.

They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you..

They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
family and friends.

The heart of a woman is what
makes the world keep turning.

Day in the park

We had a great day at the park last week with Liz and Alex while they were in town. Rosie figured out how to pump her feet to push herself in the swing.

Broke a 20 minute mile

Last week I started the Couch to 5K program. I am into week two now.

Today was the perfect kind of day to walk/run for me. I love to be out in the rain. Just a light drizzle, not a down pour. I felt great so I pushed and did a full 5K.....in 50 minutes. WHA-HOOO.....I got my 20 minute mile back. I am psyched. I have been disappointed the last few run because I was only covering 1.15 miles in 30 minutes. I really wanted to get back to a 20 minute mile. Now I will push towards a 15 minute mile. WIsh me luck!!

My "baby" isn't a baby anymore.

Where did the time go??

I can't believe how big my "baby" girl is.

An Irishman's Philosophy

In life, there are only two things to worry about— Either you are well or you are sick. If you are well, there is nothing to worry about, But if you are sick, there are only two things to worry about— Either you will get well or you will die. If you get well, there is nothing to worry about, But if you die, there are only two things to worry about— Either you will go to heaven or hell. If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about. And if you go to hell, you’ll be so busy shaking hands with all your friends You won’t have time to worry!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!

James H Miller 4/17/1921 to 2/23/2010

My grandfather passed away last night. He was surrounded by his family and went peacefully.

I truely appreciate the hospice nurses and aides that were there. They are all angels in disguise.

Happy Valentine's Day

Love me tender, love me sweet
Never let me go
You have made my life complete
And I love you so
Love me tender, love me true
All my dreams fulfill
For, my darling I love you
And I always will.
Love me tender, love me dear
Tell me you are mine
I'll be yours through all the years
'Till the end of time
Love me tender, love me true
All my dreams fulfill
For, my darling I love you
And I always will
Love me tender, love me true
All my dreams fulfill
For, my darling I love you
And I always will
Always will

New house.

We are officially in the new house. There is still a lot of unpacking to do but the kitchen is mostly unpacked and the living room is put together. Ian started his new school yesterday. He seemed to enjoy it but was really distracted. I am hoping that will settle down once the newness wears off. Rosie is doing well with the new house. She is enjoying the wood floors that allow her to "tap" dance.

Back to unpacking...

Pouting and packing going on in my house

Got word yesterday that the rental house in Kearney should be ready to move into this coming weekend. Yes, it is quick but I sooo need to move. I have hit my max on patience with my grandfather. I need a break away from him. He is a stubborn, manipulative, pain in the a**. (at least we know I come by it honestly) If he were a resident at a facility where I worked, it wouldn't be so bad because I would get time away and two days off every week. Living with him I get no true break away from him. Yesterday was the icing on the cake for me. I had just finished scolding Ian for hiding the remote from grandpa. I took the remote away, changed the channel to CNN and gave the remote to grandpa. I walk out of the room and get 1/2 across the dining room only to hear Ian start screeching again. I figure grandpa has made a face at him or something similar and Ian was mad so he was screeching and walk back in ready to remove Ian from the room. INSTEAD, I find my grandfather smacking Ian. Open handed hitting him, where ever he could reach. Now I grant you my grandfather doesn't have much strength behind his hits but, HE WAS HITTING MY CHILD. I freaked! I completely lost my temper with him, yelling and pointing my finger. How dare he raise a hand to my child, my own mother doesn't even spank my children except in extreme circumstances. Oh, I was pissed. So now Ian has been banished from the front room and dining room. It is the only way I can keep him and grandpa apart. This is where the "very thankful I am moving next weekend" comes in. After all this happens, I apologized to grandpa for losing my temper and tried to talk to him about why I was so upset. He responses by telling me this just isnt working anymore and he is going to sell the house and move to a nursing home so he can just die. (Manipulative SOB) I reminded him the house was his and I reminded him I am moving to Kearney. He informs me he is moving back home to Bethany by himself until he dies. I again reminded him the house in Smithville is his, bought and paid for, and that he can not live on his own so Meg is moving up to the house to take care of him. Again he tells me that wont work, Meg has to many thing to do she cant take care of him, she has kids and a husband, blah, blah, blah. I bit my tongue. After another 10 minutes of this crap from him, I was quickly losing my temper again. I finally just got in his face and told him...Grandpa you do not get to do this to me. I am just as stubborn and pigheaded as you are. The house is paid for, you are staying here, I am moving out, Meg is moving in, AND YOU WILL BE NICE TO HER. This is the end of this discussion. Then I got up and walked out. He is still pouting this morning and I am packing.

Gut feelings

Sometimes it is a good idea to go with your gut feeling. My gut has been saying NO about the agency case since they told me it was in Odessa. So, over the weekend I put out several resumes, still unsure about the agency job. One of them was in reply to a craiglist ad for a Night Charge Nurse in Independence for a small (50 bed) nursing home. They called me this am and asked me to come in for an interview at 2p. I got hired on the spot after a 20 minute interview with the Director of Nursing.

Agency Job - 1.5 hr commute each way, $20/hr, 69 hr/payperiod

VS.

Nursing Home Job - 0.5 hr commute each way, $19/hr, 80hr/payperiod

Not a hard choice. I took the Nursing Home job. I have orientation tomorrow.

Moving on...

Well, the decision has been made. I am moving on. I have accepted a job with Maxim Health Care, a nursing agency, and will be moving as soon as I find a place. The past year and 1/2 has taken it's toll and I am ready to get back to my own life. Don't get me wrong, I would never had said no to taking care of my grandparents but I am glad things are working out that I can gracefully step out and let someone else put in their time. Since my grandmother passed there really isn't a need for a nurse full-time, Grandpa just need someone to make sure he is safe, cook for him and entertain him. Lisa or I can pop in once a week or so and do the "nurse things", like double check meds/INR checks and Meagan and her family are moving up here to the Smithville house to be "in charge".

I am happy that I can now get back to being a mom first and a nurse second. It is a big scary change though and I would be lying if I said I wasn't having my moments of anxiety about this. I am really and truly starting over.....again. New job, new place to live, just me and the kids. Wow!

P90X Day 6

Day six is here and I am not dead yet. Although, there have been several times this week I wish, someone would have put me out of my misery. Obviously it is working something because my legs have been killing me since Pylo day. Heres to make a commitment and sticking to it! As the guy says.....DO your best and forget the rest........BRING IT!

P90X day 1

I started the P90X workout today. I made it thru the whole workout, except the declined pushups. Those are still something that I can not do. I kiss the floor every time I try them. I am also using the modified version by being on my knees for pushups and using the bands for pull-ups. I tried to do the AbRipperX too. I did not feel as successful. I did all the exercises but could not do more than 10 of each. The routine calls for 25 of each. We will see if I can still move tomorrow. I already hurt.

Every journey starts with the first step.

Jan 3rd....More Snow

This was the view from out back deck this morning. We got another 1 1/2 inches on top of the 13 inches we already had.... And it is still snowing! We have a whopping 14 degrees for a high today.

I wonder if the kids will have a snow day for the first day back in 2010?

Last Family Get Together of 2009

Our last big bash of 2009. We all got together for a belated gift exchange.
Cookies, pumpkin cheesecake, wassail, and cocoa were on the menu.

Blizzard 2009

We measured 8 inches in one part of the driveway and 13 in another.

Christmas Morning 2009

Christmas Eve

Presents were wrapped and under the tree.

Cookies and milk were left for Santa.

The stockings were hung, having been filled with care.


And Ian slept thru it all in the livingroom chair.

Crafttime - how to cure the "i'm Bored"s

The kids were bored so we got out the craft supplies.


Even Tim got in on the craft time.

2009 Christmas Letter

Faith, Family and Friends...The three best things about the holiday season.

It has been great being back in Kansas City and close to family. This year I brought back a family tradition from when I was little…Cookie Day. This takes place on the day after Thanksgiving. Instead of being out shopping, I invited all of my nieces and nephews (for those keeping count, that is 11 + my 4) to come over and make cookies. It was a blast. We made and froze several batches of chocolate chip, oatmeal raisin, sugar and chocolate cookies…..and of course the Christmas caramels.

2009 has been full of adventures, joys, sorrows, and a lot of organized chaos. Aunt Sarah lost her battle with cancer in March; Grandma Lorine passed in November; and my Dad continues his fight with pancreatic cancer.

Tim is now 19. He continues his love of singing and has recently been exploring photography. He travels back to Seattle frequently to spend time with his girlfriend Selena. He is currently working at Stables Bar and Grill in Kearney and is applying to colleges for Fall 2010.

Nic is 17 and a junior in high school. He had a fantastic spring track season. He took first with a 104’ 1” diskus throw and a 42’ 1” shotput throw at the conference track meet. He continues to follow his passion for the cello; He was accepted into the Youth Music Conservatory at Park University this fall.

Ian is now 7. He still loves to help in the kitchen. At school he was awarded the “Warrior Award”. This is given to students who have accomplished a personal goal or gone above and beyond. He collected over a hundred boxtops which put his classroom over their goal.

EstellaRose is 3 and precocious as ever. She has been perfecting her art skills by using all sorts of medium. She provided me with an 8 ft wide, sharpie mural on my bedroom wall. Her hair is finally growing back in from her self-administered haircut. She has also discovered her singing voice. She can frequently be found singing lullabies to the dogs.

This year I finished the Hospital Hill Run 10K, raising money for pancreatic cancer research…my goal for 2010 is to do better than just finish. My legs are healing well (I fell and broke the left ankle and sprained the right one in September). I can now manage without braces for the most part and am getting back to a workout regime. I have applied for the RN program at Park University; once finished, I plan to pursue a Masters in nursing. For those not in the know, Sean and I separated pending a divorce this fall. He is now in Wisconsin and doing well. Thanks to modern technologies he and the kids are able chat frequently via video calls on the computer. I continue to care for my grandfather and enjoy the organized chaos of an at-home mom and live-in nurse.

We wish you a very merry holiday season and an exciting new year!

Tim, Ian, Kristin, Rosie, Nic