3am

Being awake at 3am is alot easier when you work night shift on a regular basis and get some sleep during the day. I am on my second night of being awoken by screaming from my g'pa. Each time after being startled awake, I jump up and go to his room to see what disaster has happened, expecting to find him on the floor.

Last night, he was extremely confused and very upset because he thought it was late morning and time to get up. It had been a whole day of confusing, anytime there is a major shift in the weather he gets confused. At 2:30pm he demanded his pills and supper because it was getting dark and time for bed. I explained it was just gloomy out and actually 2:30pm. Then he went to bed at 6:30pm, got up at 10p, then 2am, then 3am, 4am, and finally at 7am...each time yelling at the top of his lungs first. Needless to say I did not sleep. I did figure out that he had his watch on upside down so when it was 3am, it looked like 9 am to him.

Tonight however was a totally different story, although it started out the same....I am awoken by the yelling coming from his room. I go into check on him and he is in the throws of a night mare, or so it appears. He is safe, so I go back to bed. Just as I am getting settle back down he starts up again. Again I go in to check and make sure he isn't on the floor. He is wrestling with his blankets as if he wants to get up so I move them, all the while asking him if he is ok. He starts talking about a T-tube and getting it put together. I tell him I don't understand and he starts laughing. Now all of this is taking place at the top of our voices (he is deaf as a post without his hearing aide and not much better with it). So he is laughing and saying how I have a problem if I don't understand the class ( he used to be a professor). Then he switches to talking about the TV channel WTN and how it is only on at 3am. Through out all of this I am asking him to be quieter and not yell because he is going to wake up the kids. Usually this will quiet him. Tonight it just made him louder. He tells me , again at the top of his voice, "I will wake the kids up, I don't care." I am so exasperated at this point, I just turn my back to walk out the door. He starts yelling again. I tell him it is 3 am and since he isn't hurt I am going back to bed. He just laughs at me and says, "You have a real problem." It took everything I had not to yell back at him "Yes, and it is a selfish old man who gets a kick out of tormenting me". I would never say that to him in a million years, but tonight it is how I feel. I know this is the way dementia works, and I would love to be able to just put earplugs in and ignore the yelling but I can't because one of these times I am going to find him on the floor...again.

I think this is particular hard right now because I haven't been able to really get a significant break away. My sister who normally spells me is having major issues right now and needs to focus on herself and her family. Tim has been great about babysitting so I could run to the store or little errands. I am dreading when he leaves for Seattle on the 23rd. Then it will be just me for two weeks. Hopefully, he doesn't come back to find me having been committed. I am damn close now.

Now that I have gotten it off my chest and he appears to have quieted down, maybe, just maybe I can get a few hours more of sleep before the fun begins again.

The face of Alzheimer's

This is a collection of photographs I have taken of my grandmother since the beginning of this year. You can see the effects of Alzheimer's. The pictures are in chronological order.

Hospice Update

The hospice team has been on board for a week now. The nurse comes out twice a week and a wonderful aide comes twice a week as well. Having the aide has been a real help. She bathes and dresses g'ma everytime she is here. She even changes the sheets on the bed. G'pa is still unsure about this whole thing. We had a male nurse come out today. G'pa is convinced it was a doctor who "specializes in the elderly". I am tired today so rather than try to explain now and again in 10 minutes I just go with it. I seem to be doing that alot lately. But it is so much easier than constantly repeating myself and knowing that he will be asking the same question again in 10 minutes. Oh well.

Not a routine MD appt.

Today was supposed to be a simple run of the mill doctor appointment. Instead it turned into a fiasco. I took G'ma for a md appointment to have her coumadin level checked in Bethany. (We have an appt with a new MD next week closer to home) For those who don't know, coumadin is a bloodthinner. Levels are supposed to be 3 to 5, hers was 14.9. That is scarey high. So they imediately gave her vitamin K, which reverses the effects of the coumadin, but it wasn't enough. Her MD confered with his partner and decided to sent her to the hospital for fresh, frzen plasma. So what should have been a 1/2 hour appointment has now turned into several hours.  

To back track abit... Thinking this was going to be a routine visit, Sean, Ian and Rosie came with me. It is a 90 mile drive to Bethany. So while I am sitting next to G'ma at the hospital, trying to keep her from pulling out the IV, Sean is trying to entertain the two rugrats. He took them for dinner at Country Kitchen and then to Walmart for toy shopping. Meanwhile, G'pa is home. Mom went over and got him dinner and Tim came home to stay with him. G'pa has a tendency to freak out if we are gone to long (he also has no concept of time). 

While at the hospital, the nursing staff took pictures of G'ma's bruised knees and hand (see blog about her tumbling down the stairs). I know they have to do it for documentation but it sure made me feel like a heel. I know I couldn't have caught her but, I feel like I somehow should have prevented it. 

 I wonder if I can handle having G'ma and G'pa at home. I thought I could. But my experience has been with multiple patients as a nurse, with several aides to help me. It is different being one on two. It is like have a two year old who is 5'2" and too smart for their own good, combined with a forgetful, frail, fall prone, stubborn 80-something old. 

I feel like taking care of them is the only thing I can do to lessen the burden on my mom. She has enough on her plate with dad's situation. But I also feel like I am making it worse because she is the one I call first when something like today happens. 

I hope things will settle into something of a routine soon.

Day 3 with G'ma

It has been interesting. G'ma has a routine of sorts going. Unfortunately, G'pa is totally discombobulated. He wants her in his room but doesn't understand when she doesn't want to get up in the morning at 7am when he does. He also is having trouble with letting her do things. He wants her to sit in the recliner all day. I keep telling him it is fine for her to walk around and there isn't anything she can get in trouble with. Mainly she just putters and tries to "clean-up".  It is especially funny to watch her try to "clean up" the computer as Sean is working on it.

Grandma moves in...

Grandma moved from Crestview today. She is doing pretty well. The trip home to Smithville was fun. Tim drove so I could pay attention to her. She apparently enjoys Tim's choice in music. She was clapping along and singing.  Once home she was greeted by Grandpa Jim. She recognized him and sat holding his hand for awhile. He seems happy she is here. There was a bit of a issue because he expected her to stay sitting still and she wanted to walk around. He finally realized she was not going to sit for more than a few minutes and that I was there and watching out for her. She walked around investigating closets and rooms. She settled down and sat at the dining room table with us for dinner. She doesn't understand silverware anymore so she has to be fed. She ate really well, though. After dinner she was content to sit in the living room with Grandpa for a bit.  I helped her get ready for bed. We have her room at set-up but at Grandpa's request I helped her to bed in his room. I am holding my breath everytime I think I hear something from that room.  I told Grandpa that if she woke up to call for me or Sean, but I doubt he will. He is stubborn. 

It is proving interesting for Sean. He has not dealt with someone with advanced Alzheimer's before now. He is kind of sitting back to see how I do things then following my lead.  I find myself going into nurse mode. I keep waiting for a little icon of a nurse's cap to appear above my head.  

G'pa not feeling well....

Grandpa called me into the living room today. He said he wasn't feeling well. I start asking the usual nurse questions..."what doesn't feel good", Dizzy, Fever, etc. He was pale and a little shakey, no fever, kinda confused, and having difficulty concetrating on what I am saying. Finally got to the part where he tells me, that when he got up to go to the bathroom and his hand went numb and he felt dizzy and shakey. I suspect he had a TIA. As we talk more he becomes more clear and his color comes back. He insists he doesn't want to go to the ER. I can't see any reason to take him at this point. All they will do is run blood work and possible a CT scan and tell me he may have had a TIA. So I will continue to watch him. He now tells me he is feeling better.

So it begins...

December 6, 2008 we all moved into a new house in Smithville; Me, Sean, the kids and Grandpa. It is a  nice big house with plenty of room for everyone. Grandpa has his own room and the upstairs living room is set up specifically for him. The downstairs has a huge rec room for the kids to play in. 

Grandpa is very anxious right now. He is concerned that we didn't get every thing form the house in Bethany. I explained that there are still some tools we have to go back and get, but that Rebecca is watching the house for us. He has started using his walker all the time now. There is less furniture for him to hang on to as he walks thru the house.  I am thankful he has decided to use it. Hopefully he will fall less now.