Some traditions are worth bringing back...

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Growing up, the day after Thanksgiving was almost more exciting than Thanksgiving itself. For us it was not Black Friday it was "COOKIE DAY". This was the day mom gave us each a mixing bowl and recipe and we made huge amounts of cookie dough. She would always bake some but most of it was frozen for those last minute..."Mom, I need 2 dozen cookies for school tomorrow"...moments. This was when we could still take home-made treats to school ( wow, does that show my age or what?). It was also the day mom made carmels. Home-made, melt in your mouth carmels. I looked forward to this day all year! The carmels became treats for our teachers and friends for Christmas. Mom would crochet a small stocking and fill it with the carmels for each person. When I got old enough, Mom taught me how to make her carmels. This was a supremely big deal for me. As we grew older and moved out on our own, cookie day became a thing of the past.

This year I decided to re-institute the tradition of cookie day. So this morning, everyone descended upon my house and the mass chaos of making cookies began. We made chocolate chip, peanut-butter, oatmeal raisin, chocolate, sugar cookies and snickerdoodles. After the kids went home and it was just the grow-ups left I made the carmels. Luckily mom was here so I was able to ask as I went. It has been years since I have made them. But they turned out great. I have even been working on the stockings to go with them.

It was a blast! I plan to make this a yearly event again. I hope that my kids look forward to cookie day, in the years to come, as much as I did growing up.

Turkey Day

The turkey came out beautiful...even if it finished several hours early.

Ian and Rosie took advantage of the old wives tale about turkey making you sleepy.

No other comparison...

Last week was a tough one. We laid to rest my grandmother on Monday and my BFF's husband on Friday. But in the midst of this sorrow came a beautiful soul.

His name is Benjamin.

There is nothing in this world more priceless than holding a newborn child. The joy has no other comparison.

Thanksgiving thoughts

Give thanks in all circumstances...
--1 Thessalonians 5:18

Though it was not called Thanksgiving at the time, in 1621 a thanksgiving feast was celebrated by the pilgrims of the Plymouth colony along with about 90 Wampanoag Indians. The Pilgrims had suffered through a devastating winter in which nearly half their number died. Without the help of the Indians, all would have perished.After the first harvest, Governor William Bradford proclaimed a day of thanksgiving and prayer to God.

In 1623, a period of drought was answered by colonists with a proclamation of prayer and fasting. This prayer and fasting became a thanksgiving celebration when rains came during the prayers. Later that year, Governor Bradford proclaimed November 29 as a time for pilgrims to gather and "listen to ye pastor and render thanksgiving to ye Almighty God for all His blessings."

In 1863, Sarah Josepha Hale, convinced Abraham Lincoln to proclaim Thanksgiving a national holiday. For the date, she chose the last Thursday in November because of Washington's proclamation. In 1941, it was officially changed to the fourth Thursday in November.

Since Abraham Lincoln's proclamation, it has been a custom that all presidents of the United States make Thanksgiving proclamations every year. George W. Bush stated in one of his proclamations, that In thankfulness and humility, we acknowledge, especially now, our dependence on One greater than ourselves.

All of the early Thanksgiving celebrations had one thing in common. The thanksgiving was directed toward God. It did not matter that many had very hard times. The people knew that God was their creator and provider and that all good things ultimately came from Him.

It is in this spirit that I will be celebrating Thanksgiving this year.

I am thankful most of all from my family and friends. For without their love, friendship, and support I would not have made it through the past few months.

Trouble doth sire three children...

First we lost my grandmother. My best friend Liz took Rosie and Ian Monday during the funeral and supported me as I grieved and questioned.

Tuesday morning she calls me, they had found her husband. He had taken his own life. All else stopped in my world as I went to her. Luckily my sisters came over to handle my house so I could go handle Liz's. We have been best friends since high school, finish each others thoughts..the whole nine. She has a 4 yr old daughter who is struggling to understand the loss of her father. It has been an incredibly long few days.

Over the last 20 years of being in nursing, I have seen it time and time again. Death comes in 3's. The superstitious nurse in me is waiting for number three to show it's face.

Recap of thursday.

It started thursday about 2pm. I went to get grandma up from her nap. She just didn't look right. Her hands and feet were cold and purple and she seemed in pain. Terry, the hospice nurse was coming out for her normal appt anyway so I didn't call her and just I got grandma up and settled into her recliner. I gave her some of her pain medicine (Lortab liquid), it didn't seem to help much. She was moaning and it seemed hard for her to breathe, she was extremely restless and agitated. At this point, I knew things were going south quickly. There is a look a person's eyes get when they are dying. She had it.

Terry arrived and confirmed what I suspected...Grandma probably won't make it thru the night. It appeared that she had a GI bleed of some kind (based on pain and coffee-ground emesis). Terry got on the phone and started making arrangements for morphine, ativan and oxygen. Things to make grandma more comfortable. I called Mom and she came over. Meagan came and got Ian and Rosie. Terry had to leave for another client but arranged for another nurse to come in, Nadine.

I sat with grandma, watching. She was struggling to breathe and the mottling was all the way up her legs to her thighs. The meds and oxygen arrived. I gave her the first dose. It helped. She became less restless but her breathing was still really labored. My instructions were to give her the morphine (0.25 ml) and ativan every hour. as we approached the hour mark, she became more restless. I gave her the second dose of morpine but held off on the ativan. Again she calmed, and slowly her breathing became less labored until she simply stopped breathing. She passed at 9:09pm.

I have been the nurse who sat at the bedside as a patient died. I have been the nurse who gave the last dose of medication. But it is somehow different when it is your family. I know I did everything by the book and in grandma's best interest but the questions still come. It is hard not to question everything I did.

One of the hardest things to do was tell my grandfather. He has been slipping in to the alzheimer's abyss too but is still mostly aware. He had already gone to bed when she passed. After talking to my mom we decided to wait until morning to tell him. It was hard, even though he knew it was coming. They had been married 60+ years. I can't even imagine that kind of loss.

In Memory of Lorine Miller

LORINE MILLER
August 23, 1924 - November 12, 2009
BIOGRAPHY

Lorine Miller, 85, Bethany, died Thursday, November 12, 2009 in Smithville, MO.
She was born August 23, 1924 in Gilman City, MO, the daughter of Leroy Albert and Cliva Cornelia (Black) Norris.
On October 27, 1945, she married James H. Miller in Madison, CT. He survives at the home.
Lorine was a homemaker and a member of Beta Sigma Phi Sorority.
Survivors in addition to her husband are her daughters, Alexis Mayo, Kansas City, MO, Marilyn Miller, Torrington, WY and Jennifer Langlois, Overland Park, KS; brother, Neil Norris, Bethany, MO; 7 grandchildren, 13 great grandchildren.
She was preceded in death by her parents; sisters, Mildred Christopher and Alene Herring and brother, Kenneth Norris.
Funeral Services will be 1:00 p.m. Monday, November 16, at Roberson Funeral Home, Bethany, MO. Burial in Miriam Cemetery, Bethany, MO. Friends may call after 9:00 a.m. Monday at the funeral home. There is no scheduled family visitation.
Memorial contributions may be made to Alzheimer's Association in care of Roberson Funeral Home, P.O. Box 46, Bethany, MO 64424. Online condolences may be left at www.robersonfuneralhome.com.

Just something cute

The other day, Rosie was with me while I was getting ready. I was putting on my lipstick and she asked what it was. I answered, it was something mommies put on their mouth to look pretty. She informed me that she was a mommy too and so she needed some.

I laughed and said, "If you're a mommy then that makes me a grandma."

She looks at me for a moment and then says, " No, you can't be a grandma, you're not old."

uhm....I don't know what to call this one.

I haven't posted lately. I have had a lot on my mind but so much of it is too personal to share in an open forum such as this.

I am still working on the weightloss....although much more slowly than I would like. I am working out again, I haven been able to manage 15-30 most days without too much pain. Unfortunately, there have been a few days like today that just standing upright for a shower was incredibly painful. I wish my silly ankles would just heal already. I have been told I won't really be healed for at least 90 days after the break (Aug 31) but that was also based on me being compliant. Did I mention, I am impatient and have a hard time sitting still? SO needless to say, I have pushed and am now paying the price for it. My goal at this point is to be ready to start learning to run by Jan 1, 2010. That is 7 1/2 weeks. I know if I don't start training/learning to run by then, I won't be ready for the Hospital Hill Run in June. I want to be able to better, than just finish.

I am also working on becoming less scattered and more organized. Wish me luck on that one.

And last but not least....After my mini nervous breakdown about 3 weeks ago, I realized that I have a breaking point and it is REALLY not a pretty site. So, I am learning to say "No"......That's right, no. This is a major accomplishment for me and a real struggle too. So please don't take offense if you ask me for something, and I say no. I am trying to find my limits and not overload myself.