All about the moo-cow

From New Folder (3)

From New Folder (3)

Sean went to Wisconsin last weekend and brought back a few thing for the kids. For Rosie it is all about the moo-cow. Her favorite joke right now is:
"What does a cow work for?.............MOOO-LAAA"
It is a riot to listen to her tell it.

Hair flowers

From New Folder (3)

My sister Sam is an amazingly talented crafter. She showed me how to make these adorable flower clips for Rosie's hair. It was so easy and fun I made 1/2 dozen of them. Luckily Rosie is very much into being a princess right now so she loves to wear them.

Baptismal gown

This is the baptimal gown I made for Heidi Rose.

From Christening gown

Update on Dad...

He is still at KU Med. The results came back from the abdominal CT. They were much much better than we expected. There were no new growths and the original tumor was measusred for comparison. It has shrunk slightly from the last set of scans. This is good! Dad is still being treated for the PE (pulmonary emboli). He wil continue that treatment course for awhile. The PE is very large and will take time to resolve. The current game plan is for him to come home over the weekend....that is however subject to change.

Being right isn't always a good thing.

My Dad is in KU med. He has been there since last Sunday. He was initially admitted for extreme dehydration and anemia. Both of these can be side effects of the chemo he is on. Unfortunately, he wouldn't listen and ended up going when it became critical instead managable. So the first night they pumped him full of fluids, somewhere in the neighborhood of 5 IV bags (about 5 liters). This unfortunately caused a fluid overload. He swelled up to resemble the pilsbury dough boy. To relieve this they put him on Lasix, a diuretic. In the meantime his hemoglobin was less than 8.

Have you strapped in for the roller coaster ride yet? If not do so now!

His hemoglobin started to come up but the rest of his labs were still whacky and he still felt crummy. One of the main problems was he couldn't catch his breath. It was fatigueing just to sit up. Thus, they started him on oxygen. This helped somewhat. His labs started to straighten out. Unfortunately, some of the important ones went down then came back up...of particular concern was the lactic acid. They tried a CPAP machine to help regulate his nighttime breathing. Not getting the results they wanted, the MD said he wanted a chest and abdominal CT. His theory being that the cancer might have spread , causing the elevated lactic acid results.

I have been saying that I had a gut feeling there was something more to this. More than just dehydration this time. I have had this feeling since the last set of scans he had done. So when the MD said that I was relieved and terrified at the same time. Relieved that they were going to take a closer look and not just blow it off and terrified that they would confirm what my gut was saying. The curse of being a nurse who paid attention in class and believes in "gut feelings".

They did the chest CT this morning. They did find something....a pulmonary emboli. This is a blood clot in his lung. It appears that there is one or more clots around his port (implanted IV port). The working theory is that one broke off and found its way to the lung. They have started him on Lovenox (a heavy duty anticoagulant), to help break up the clots and prevent more.

As of this writing they have not done the abdominal CT.

So we wait......

Thank You!

We may not have conquered Pancreatic Cancer yet, but we conquered the Hill.

Our final total for our fundraising was $2390.oo.

Thank you to everyone for their support, encouragement, and prayers!

Rare Moment

Rosie and her great Grandma shared a smile. It was a treat to see. For those who don't know Grandma has Alzheimer's. It is rare for her to show much emotion. Occassionally, I am lucky enough to capture it.

Our Dog, Sumner

Finalizing the 10K and ...

I slept and took yesterday off from everything...except posting the pictures. Today I am working on a scrap book of the event and finalizing the fund raising. We had several offline donations that we need to get into the count before we publish a final number. So far it is looking good.

I made it to the gym this morning and managed a full weight workout and 250 yrds in the pool. Then I sat and reveled in the glorious bubbling water in the hot tub. As I sat there, I started thinking about what to do next.

So, I made a decision to do the Alzheimer's Association Memory Walk. It is in October and is only a 3 mile course. After having done the 10K it should be a piece of cake. Again this is something dear to me; my grandmother suffers with Alzheimer's. I have seen the impact this disease has on families. It is a hard thing to deal with. It is like losing the person twice...once as the mind dies and then again when the body dies. I have spent most of my nursing career working in Alzheimer's units. Now I care for my grandmother at home. I am glad to be able to provide her with the care she needs. Every now and again I am rewarded with a smile or a pat on the cheek. That makes it all worth it.

Hospital Hill Run 2009 Slideshow

36th Hospital Hill Run

The Hospital Hill Run was today. Lisa, Heather, Samantha, Nic and I all did the 10K. It was awesome. My goal was just to finish before they started taking down the barricades. I did a little better than that. The goal for next year is to finish in under 1:30:00. 

I survived! Here is my offical results.

Kristin Vancleave Smith #10161

Smithville

Age: 37 Gender: F

Distance	10K
Clock Time	1:46:51
Overall Place	1258 / 1263
Gender Place	714 / 723
Division Place	113 / 113
Age Grade	28.9%
St	MO
Divt	113
Sext	723
Pace	17:12

Mowing the yard

So I decided that I needed to mow the yard today before it became so tall that we lost a child in it. I finished the front yard this morning. I always do it first because I figure it is the part that makes an inpression on the neighbors (good or bad).  And it looked like it might rain. Rain never came instead the sun came out.  So I decided to mow the back yard too. I got down to the last three passes and the mower died. nic came out to help me get it restarted and just went ahead and finished. I was a little miffed because I wanted to me able to say I had donet he WHOLE thing. Oh well, at least it got done. Oh and did I mention the snake?

Family BBQ

We all got together to celebrate the May Birthdays...

Happy Birthday to Kameron, Matt, and Lisa!

Behold the woman...

A friend of mine's husband sent this to her. I just had to repost it.

Quote of the day: Behold the Woman

"Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit." ~unknown

The ultimate coffee mug...

"Here's your coffee honey."

Me addicted to coffee?     YUP!

Track Letter

Nic was awarded a JV letter in Track.

Sharpie Artwork

There are times as a mom you don't know whether to laugh, cry or run screaming from the house. This was one of those moments.  I had gone to answer the call of mother nature and  when I returned I could hear Rosie singing in my bedroom so I went to investigate. This is what I found.

Sean had left a sharpie on the end table in the livingroom, Rosie found it. Needless to say Sean is going to help repaint the bedroom and gets no input on the color. I am thinking Lilac.  :)

Zoo Trip

We awoke to thunder and rain. But slowly the storms cleared and we had the perfect afternoon for a trip to the zoo. We loaded everyone (Sean, Me, Christina (Sean's friend from Wisconsin), Liz, Nic, Ian, Alex and Rosie) into the cars and headed off. We managed to only have one semi-meltdown during the whole afternoon. The mom's reading this will understand how outstanding of a feat that is with a 2 yr old, 4 yr old and 6 yr old. No one got overly sunburnt and we had a blast. On the way home we were treated to a spectacular view of the incoming storm clouds.

Nic's Conference Track Meet

He took first with a 104' 1" diskus throw.

He also took first with a 42' 1" shot put throw.

PlayDate

Elizabeth and her daughter, Alex have started coming over regularly for playdates. These are pictures from the most recent one. 

Pan Can update

So far we have raised $1860.00. 

 I hope that everyone knows how much they are appreciated for their support in this endeavour. 

Finding Zen

 Zen ...what exactly does it mean? 

 The whole point of Zen is to become fully aware, here and now.  Zen demands one to “Come to your senses!”, for when you get lost in thoughts of the past or future, life passes you by.   When you  mindfully focus in the present moment, you can completely dissolve into whatever manifests.   Each moment is filled with a profound peace and clarity.  Each moment is perceived to have significance, charged with magic and mystery, infinitely precious.  

I found my Zen this morning residing with a sweet young man behind the Starbuck's counter. After a morning that had not gone well I decided to treat myslef to a latte. While in Seattle I had discovered the vanilla chai latte. It wasn't on the posted menu but I took a chance and asked for it anyway, fully prepared to be told it was not available. Instead, this wonderful young man with a beautiful accent asked how I wanted it prepared and made it perfectly. The first taste was wonderful, pure bliss. Nothing else came into my world at that moment except the taste of the chai as it flowed into my mouth, biting the back of my tongue as it continued down my throat. That moment of zen stayed with me.  I actually giggled most of the way home, enjopying the happy peace that had settled over me. 

I need to find a way to be fully present, right here, right now, more often and enjoy the moments of Zen that present themselves. So the lesson is..... If not now, then when?

Journals...

My mom is an avid journal keeper. She pointed out to me the other day that the blog entries I make are in essence a journal. She suggested I print them out and put them together in a notebook for the kids to read some day. I like that idea. So as of today I am going to print these out and put them in a notebook.

 Who know someday in the future someone might find my life interesting or at least humorous.

Support....

This post is from my sis-in-law, Tina. 

SATURDAY, APRIL 25, 2009

...screenprint.

My hubby and I are showing our support for his sisters running a 10K by screenprinting. They are running in the Hospital Hill Run in KC to raise money/awareness for Pancreatic Cancer Action Network. You can check out all the info at the team website:http://www.firstgiving.com/daddygirls. We live far away, so we are printing up some bandannas for the team and a bunch of fun flags for the supporters in the crowd. It's an in-house job. We are doing it all ourselves from design to print. Lucy is our model today.


With all these flags laid out to dry, Andy Warhol's work comes to mind...

GO, DADDY'S GIRLS!!!

Ronan's visit

Ian and Rosie's great-aunt Marilyn stopped for a visit with her newfoundland Ronan. 

Stormy Weather.

These were taken Saturday afternoon during a break in the rain along 169 Hwy.

Turkey

You know you live in the country when this is your
view from your kitchen window....Wild turkey anyone?

Having issues with the Blog

Sorry for the overdose of my blogs. Multiply seems to have republished more than half of the things already there. I havent figured this out yet so bare with me.

A day in the life of Alzheimer's

So I was awoken this morning to the sound of fingers drumming on my kitchen table. It was G'pa. He was very agitated because his breakfast wasn't waiting for him and he had to catch the train.  It took about 3 minutes to get him to understand he did not have to catch the train as it was Saturday. I was not about to try to convince him he wasn't working anymore.  So he went back to bed grumbling about being crazy. I am not sure if he was referring to himself or me.  About 7am ( a much more reasonable time) I was awoken by him screaming "Lorine". This is my grandmother's name, although he frequently calls me this. I don't understand that because I look nothing like my grandmother ever did. But I go along with it for my sanity's sake. So I stumble into the living room and ask him why he is yelling. He is upset because he can't find his equipment to catch the rabbits he needs. (He used to catch rabbits and tag them as part of a research project in CA).  I again choose the route of the obscure to convince him he didn't need to do this today. I pointed out it was storming and they predicted thunder and lightening and it wouldn't do him any good to be out in the rain as the rabbits wouldn't be out anyway. He accepted that but continued to tell me about the research project and such.  Then all of a sudden he declares he is crazy.  I am taken back by this and ask him why. He ignores me and goes off on another tangent about rabbits. Trying to change the subject I bring up his birthday which is this month. I ask him how old he will be....he tells me he doesn't know, and looks very puzzled.  Then he declares, " I guess I am too old to worry about it." and laughs.

Unfortunately, these mornings are coming more frequently. He is slipping into the Alzheimer's abyss. His wife, my grandmother, Lorine is well in to late stage Alzheimer's. There are times I think it is a blessing that he is now slipping too. It has been so hard on him to see her and not have any recognition from her.  Now he is more accepting of her presence without her acknowledging him. The hard part for me is seeing how he treated her first hand. He frequently thinks I am her and is not very kind. I am amazed at the strength my grandmother must have had, not to smack him with a skillet sometimes. 

Update on Fundraising for PanCan

We have raised $535 of our $2500 goal so far.  

This week Smithville Junior High raised money thru a "Make a donation, Wear your jeans" day. They raised $160. WAY TO GO WARRIORS! 

I continue with my training. I am up to 4.5 miles. I am really psyched about this. If I make it thru this 10K, I may just try for a 1/2 marathon next year.  

I want to make sure everybody knows how thankful I am for their support, prayers and good wishes. 

If you want to see our progress you can use the link below to go to our donation page.

http://www.firstgiving.com/daddygirls

Easter with the Family

We had a great time with everyone at our house for Easter.  James and Tina called and we were able to video conference with Seth, Staci and Rhianna. Dad got to enjoy some deviled eggs, made especially by Sean. Chad made scalloped potatoes and we had a spiral cut ham with an awesome glaze.  The kids ran around and caused the usual chaos.  It was great fun!

Bunnies...

Easter Bunnies everywhere!

Coloring of the Eggs.

We had all the kids over Thursday to dye easter eggs. It was a blast!

Toupee?

The poor guy in the background looks like he is wearing a toupee. He was quite funny to see up close. The white patch was parted down the middle and looked neatly combed.

Sunset

The sunset tonight was beautiful and progressed

into an equally beautiful full moon.

A reason to Drink Chocolate Milk

One of the newest recovery foods discovered is chocolate milk (although any grade school child can attest to its wonders).

Chocolate milk provides the athlete with a winning combination of nutrients: protein for muscles, carbohydrates and B vitamins for energy, calcium and vitamin D for bones, potassium for fluid balance, and water for rehydration.  The best way to refuel after your next run, workout or competition is to drink 16 ounces of chocolate milk within 30 minutes of finishing. For more information on how to make chocolate milk a part of your training schedule, or on the sports nutrition benefits of dairy, please visit www.midwestdairy.com.

OK, this you gotta love! I valid reason to drink choclate milk. MmmmmmmmmM!

Seth's email

seth.mayo@usmc.mil

For those who would like to have it here is Seth's work email. He asked that it be posted. He still has his personal gmail account too. We figured out how to make the web call work on MSn tonight and Rosie and Rhianna got to chat. It was grreat fun. Next we are going to try for a virtual play date.

Anybody found Zen?

Today is one of those days that I am having to make a concentrated effort to be motivated. I am just off today. Even at the gym I had to really push to get thru my sets. Maybe I did too much yesterday or maybe the stress of life is taking it's toll. Either way, I think I will try to lay low today and hope for ZEN.

OHMMMMM......OHMMMMMM.........OHMMMMMMM

I ran...

So today I made it to a personal milestone...I ran. I actually ran. I did 5 intervals on the treadmill....4 minutes walking then 1 mintue running. I know 1 minute doesn't seem like much but I haven't been able to even run a full minute until now. So I am psyched!!

 My goal is to up the running while decreasing the walking until I can run a full thirty minutes.

Seeds of Life gift...

We recieved this wonderful gift from our dear friends, Jim and Rachel. It is an acorn ready to sprout into an oak tree that you can then plant. We recieved this just after Aunt Sarah passed. Our plan it to plant it in her memory as soon as it is ready. I truely appreciate the thoughtfulness behind this gift. What a wonderful way to express your sympathy to a family who has lost some one dear. Thank you Rachel and Jim.

GNO - April

Girl's Night Out   April 2009

Mom, Liz, Kris, Meg, Lisa, Sam

Our first girl's night out was a smashing success! I had a blast. We went to Cascone's Italian Resturant. I had the best fettucine alfredo with shrimp.We had this wager going. We all kept track of how many minutes we worked out. The person with the most minutes got their dinner bought for them. This was a huge motivator for me. I came out with 701 minutes, which means I got bragging rights for this month. WHA-HOO!! We decided to do this again and make it a monthly thing...until we get tired of it or our husbands revolt...whichever comes first. 

I had planned the night off for myself. So after dinner I went to my hotel, checked in, watched a movie and went to bed. I slept sooooo good. I woke up this morning with a whole new attitude and feeling refreshed. I even made it to the gym and worked out for 2 hours. As a bonus, I got on the scale and discovered (even with pigging out yesterday) that I had dropped 3 pounds. I will definitely have to do this again.

Weight Watchers

I joined Weight Watchers. I attend my first meeting last night.  It was really interesting. I like the fact that I can eat what ever foods I want as long as I am paying attention to portion size and such. I started plugging in my meals for the past few days into the points tracker. I was pleasantly surprised to find that I wasnt horribly off. I was over my points but only by 5 or less. That made me feel like I was in a good starting place. I just need to be more thoughtfull when planning meals. 

I have gotten back on the gym horse too. My goal is to go 5 days a week or more. Right now I am sticking to the elliptical thingy. It doesn't hurt my knees. Next week I am going to try the treadmill and see if I can do some interval walking/running.  I would like to get to a point I can actually run. 

With luck the combination will be enough to get me in shape and healthy. 

ARGHH!

Last night was a rough one. The kids refused to go to bed and then proceeded to antagonize each other for another hour or so. I finally got to bed about 11:30 and was woken every hour on the hour to the sounds of "I need water. LORINE, WHERE ARE YOU, WHY AREN'T YOU HELPING ME!" (My g'pa has taken to calling me Lorine) I love my children and my grandfather however, I am getting to a place where I don't like them very much.  My attitude sucks right now.

I can not tell you how much I am looking forward to Friday. My sisters, mom and I have been doing a challenge. We have been keeping track of the minutes we workout this month.  Now you will notice I said minutes worked out, not pounds lost.  This was supposed to be motivation to get us all moving more. The person with the most minutes gets their dinner bought at our GNO this friday. We decided to go to Cascone's , an italian resturant. YUMMY! I also decided I needed a break, a night off from being Mom/Nurse/Wife/add job description here. So I have gotten myself a hotel room for Friday night. I am going to enjoy the peace and quiet for one whole night! I can take a bath with out a child demanding to come in, or watch a movie uninterupted, or just sleep with out a knee in my back and being woken up constantly. It is only one night but I am going to make the most out of it. I am hoping to come back a little more refreshed and with a better attitude (did I mention mine sucks right now). 

If it works I may have to make it a monthly thing.

Just for Hannah....

This is our world!

And spring returns.....

And spring has sprung. 

I took these around our neighborhood after the snow melted. It is really starting to look like spring....now if we could just get the temperatures to warm up.

Do something

I have been trying to figure out something I could "do" regarding Dad's cancer diagnosis. I have also been trying to figure out how to "do" something to motivate myself to get healthy and reduce my own risk factors. Last week, I got an email from PanCan.org. It was about the Hospital Hill run. The run is a way to raise money for your cause. I have decided to do the 10K run to raise money for Pancreatic Cancer Action Network and to raise awareness of the disease and the need for money to do research  and to treat those who already have it.  This 10K also gives me a goal and a reason to get up and go to the gym every morning. The occassional "you go girl", emails,  prayers, and good thoughts would really be appreciated to keep me motivated.

 If you are interested in how the fundraising is coming along or want to make your own donation, check out.....http://www.firstgiving.com/daddygirls

If you want to know more about the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network go to www.pancan.org

What happened to Spring?

When Nic and I left for the gym this morning it was raining. By the time we were done and heading home we were greeted with snow. Big, heavy, wet snow flakes. 

What happened to SPRING?

Crash, Bang, BOOM

Crash, bang, rattle, boom , crash, rattle, rattle....these were the sounds that were coming form my dining room. The first thought I had, as I ran from the other side of the house, was that someone had fallen and taken the dining room table with them. Instead I was greeted by the sight of our dog, Sumner, having lost his mind and trying to climb thru the picture window. 

This little creature was the cause of all the commotion as he scampered around the tree in the front yard.

Nic and Katie all dressed up.

Nic and Katie were all dressed up for a dance last weekend but stopped long enough to apprease the pavarotzi.

Super Mom

Quiz results

I took the "Which type of woman are you?" quiz on Facebook today.

The  result is: Lovely Lady

You are lovely and caring. You help others and spread out a lot of sympathy. Your life aim maybe is to serve the people. But your weakness is that you forget about yourself, your own needs. All your time is hold back for your friends and family. You are always there for people in trouble. Ready for any emergency. You make a lot of sacrifices just to be a good human. But every woman has her needs, her longings and a destiny. Don't loose yourself in work or curing other people's souls. You will have your own problems in your life. Another problem is that you don't say your opinion when it's right and important to say it. People trample onto your soul if you are always so kind and lovely and helpful. They will play on you. Though you should try to relax more and enjoy your life, you should not loose the gift that was given to you to help others . Not everyone is created this way... You are uniqe and rare!

It is a little scarey how acurate it is.

In loving memory...

Sarah Louise Peyton passed away this morning after a brave battle with pancreatic cancer.  The quote below says everything about Aunt Sarah. 

"Love does not measure; it just gives." -Mother Teresa

She is loved and will be missed. 

The Wall

Here is a recap of the last two weeks or so....

G'pa went to the hospital for shortness of breath. he was hospitalized for a week. He was released to rehab for physical therapy. He was there for 1 1/2 days and was sent back to the hospital with a fever of 102. He had an infection called C-diff. It is nasty stuff but very treatable. So back to rehab he went after a couple of days.  About every two days I get the angry phone call asking me why I havent come to get him yet. Yesterday I went to pick up his laundry and visit for a bit and spent most of the time argueing with him about why he wasn't coming home with me right then. I explained that he needed to get stronger and be able to use his walker, which at the moment he is not. He is also starting to have more and more episodes of confusion and dementia. 

Intertwined with this, my dad went in for a "routine" endoscopy. He ended up vomiting while he was still under and spent a week in the hospital for suspected aspiration pneumonia. He got home, had his chemo. He has also had a headache for two months so they did and MRI this week. We don't know the results yet. He has a CT and PET scan scheduled for next week to check on the tumor status. Then last night he was admitted to ICU for monitoring due to a fever and another  infection (possibly related to the aspiration pneumonia). 

My husband has been fighting open wounds on his legs and finally went to the wound clinic. They cleaned, medicated and wrapped him up. After three visits they are finally healing. This is after 5 months of constant problems and 2 ER visits. He still has to have them wrapped daily but at least they are healing. They did more blood work today so we will see what it has to say next week.

My "mother-in-law" (this is the aunt who raised Sean after his mother passed) She has been fighting pancreatic cancer. She was a nurse and so, opted for chemo and a trial therapy. The thought the tumor had shrunk with the chemo and she was stable enough for surgery but when they got in there, they discovered the cancer had metastisised to her liver and they werent able to do anything. She was sent home with hospice last Friday. We spent most of the weekend down at her house. Their were relatives there that Sean hadn't seen in years and I had never met. It was a little intimidating.  I took the camera and insisted on taking everyone's pictures. I want to be able to show them to Rosie and Ian so they know their family. Two nights ago we got a call that they had started 6 hour watches on Sarah because her breathing was becoming more labored. All I can do in pray she has peace and knows how loved she is.

My g'ma has finally recovered from the UTI she had and is getting more fiesty.Then Tuesday, I got a call from her MD office telling me they want a bone scan done. Apparently there was some value on her last blood work that indicated concern. She is in late stage Alzheimer's, I don't know how they think she is going to cooperate with a scan. I don't think she should be sedated because of the risks and if they do find something, what then? She isn't a candidate for surgery. We are still working on whether or not to go forward with it.

Ian tells me last night that we need to plan some "alone time". This is right after a screaming fit because he wasn't getting his way about something.  I know this is his way of getting my attention because I haven't been giving him enough. I am trying to figure out how to give him more. I know he is feeling left out. Without Tim around he doesn't get much one on one attention. (Tim is still in Washington). 

Rosie is being more crabby too. And I am sure it is due to lack of attention on my part. She also misses Nic. He is home most weekends but then we have been gone alot. 

As for me, I have been on the back burner. I have been so busy taking care of everyone else that I don't have any energy left over for me. I can't leave the house unless someone can watch g'ma or I take her with me.  It is taking it's toll.  I also miss having my boys around. I hit my wall yesterday. 

This morning, I feel like I spent the night crashing into it....... repeatedly.