This weekend has been very difficult. It has been two weeks since Sean asked me for a divorce. I know it is the right path for us to take. But it is a bumpy path nonetheless. Sean decided and made plans to move to Wisconsin. He has a friend there who offered him the spare room she has. The plan was for him to leave Friday nite.
So I put it off until the very last minute and finally on Thursday I talked to Ian. Divorce was not even a word in his vocabulary. He understood the basic concept, or so I thought. Friday morning while getting ready for school, he comes to me with two toys in his hands. "Mommy" he says. "This is you and this is Dad (holding one toy in each hand, close together)and Dad is moving away (he pulls one hand far away from the other)but in a little while you will throw your divorce away and he will move back." I didn't know what to say to that. I tried again to explain that a divorce isn't something you can just throw away. And that Dad and I loved him but we couldn't live together anymore. He took in stride and headed off to school.
Sean spent Friday finalizing things and packing. He had set it up to stay in a hotel Friday night and leave out early Saturday morning. The plan was for him to say good bye to the kids Friday night. Well as you know the best laid plans often fail as did this one. His friend's flight was delayed getting in, the rental car couldn't be picked up until Saturday morning so he couldn't load it until Saturday morning, etc. SO by the time he got everything worked out it was 11am, both kids were awake and wanting to know what was going on. So he ended up saying good bye to them all over again.
Emotions were running high. Rosie only understands that Daddy had to go away. And now she is having real separation anxiety. If I mention anything that sounds like I am leaving she goes into hysterics. I was talking about going to the gym in the morning, she over heard me and started sobbing "No you cant go I will miss you too much." No matter what I said she would not let go of it. At church she was all gungho to go to nursery until she realized I wasn't staying in nursery. It didn't help that it was nap time. So we walked the hall for a bit until she fell asleep and I went to sunday school. Ian however did really well. He was really excited because the librarian from his school goes to our church (this was the first time we have gone to this congregation). He went right in to Sunday school class and was happy as a lark and made a couple of new friends right away.
I have been down this road before. I know it will be difficult and will take time to settle. I expect Ian will be ok for a little while and then it will hit him that this is for real and then he will struggle for a bit. I have added to my prayer for strength to handle my burdens. I also ask for the children to be granted the understanding and strength that they need.
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