Christmas Eve

Presents were wrapped and under the tree.

Cookies and milk were left for Santa.

The stockings were hung, having been filled with care.


And Ian slept thru it all in the livingroom chair.

Crafttime - how to cure the "i'm Bored"s

The kids were bored so we got out the craft supplies.


Even Tim got in on the craft time.

2009 Christmas Letter

Faith, Family and Friends...The three best things about the holiday season.

It has been great being back in Kansas City and close to family. This year I brought back a family tradition from when I was little…Cookie Day. This takes place on the day after Thanksgiving. Instead of being out shopping, I invited all of my nieces and nephews (for those keeping count, that is 11 + my 4) to come over and make cookies. It was a blast. We made and froze several batches of chocolate chip, oatmeal raisin, sugar and chocolate cookies…..and of course the Christmas caramels.

2009 has been full of adventures, joys, sorrows, and a lot of organized chaos. Aunt Sarah lost her battle with cancer in March; Grandma Lorine passed in November; and my Dad continues his fight with pancreatic cancer.

Tim is now 19. He continues his love of singing and has recently been exploring photography. He travels back to Seattle frequently to spend time with his girlfriend Selena. He is currently working at Stables Bar and Grill in Kearney and is applying to colleges for Fall 2010.

Nic is 17 and a junior in high school. He had a fantastic spring track season. He took first with a 104’ 1” diskus throw and a 42’ 1” shotput throw at the conference track meet. He continues to follow his passion for the cello; He was accepted into the Youth Music Conservatory at Park University this fall.

Ian is now 7. He still loves to help in the kitchen. At school he was awarded the “Warrior Award”. This is given to students who have accomplished a personal goal or gone above and beyond. He collected over a hundred boxtops which put his classroom over their goal.

EstellaRose is 3 and precocious as ever. She has been perfecting her art skills by using all sorts of medium. She provided me with an 8 ft wide, sharpie mural on my bedroom wall. Her hair is finally growing back in from her self-administered haircut. She has also discovered her singing voice. She can frequently be found singing lullabies to the dogs.

This year I finished the Hospital Hill Run 10K, raising money for pancreatic cancer research…my goal for 2010 is to do better than just finish. My legs are healing well (I fell and broke the left ankle and sprained the right one in September). I can now manage without braces for the most part and am getting back to a workout regime. I have applied for the RN program at Park University; once finished, I plan to pursue a Masters in nursing. For those not in the know, Sean and I separated pending a divorce this fall. He is now in Wisconsin and doing well. Thanks to modern technologies he and the kids are able chat frequently via video calls on the computer. I continue to care for my grandfather and enjoy the organized chaos of an at-home mom and live-in nurse.

We wish you a very merry holiday season and an exciting new year!

Tim, Ian, Kristin, Rosie, Nic

Christmas Photos

We finally got every home and sitting reasonably still for our Christmas photos


Merry Christmas 2009

Got to love the Irish...

An Irishman's Philosophy

There are only two things to worry about:

Either you are well or you are sick.

If you are sick,

Then there are only two things to worry about:

Either you will get well or you will die.

If you get well,

Then there are only two things to worry about:

Either you will go to heaven or hell.

If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about.

But if you go to hell,

You'll be so damn busy shaking hands with friends

You won't have time to worry!

~ Author Unknown ~

top 10 revisited

1. We are now in Smithville, MO.

2. My dad has pancreatic cancer.

3. My aunt-in-law (she is basically my MIL) has pancreatic cancer.

4. We live with and care for my grandfather who is in frail health and grandmother who has alzheimer's.

5. My oldest is 18...enough said.

6. My 16 year old moved in with his grandparents to continue attending Kearney High (long story involving step-mother and her issues).

7. My six year old has discovered how to be sassy.

8. My two year old is 2. WHY? WHY? WHY? HOW? WHAT? you get the idea.

9. We now have a dog named Sumner.

10. I haven't lost my mind.............yet.

This was my top 10 list at the beginning of 2009. As we draw the year to a close I thought I would up date it.

1. The kids and I are still in Smithville....Sean has moved to WI.

2. My Dad is still battling pancreatic cancer.

3. Aunt Sarah lost her battle with cancer in March. She is missed.

4. We still live with my grandfather. My grandmother passed in November.

5. My oldest will be 19 soon.

6.My 16 yr old was accepted in to the Youth Music Conservatory at Park University.

7.My six year old is now 7 and still sassy.

8. We have left the terrible two's and entered into the obnoxious threes. She is now nic-named "Molly Meltdown".

9. We still have Sumner and have added a puppy named Suzi.

10. Still haven't lost my mind but seem to have misplaced my sanity.

Some traditions are worth bringing back...

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Growing up, the day after Thanksgiving was almost more exciting than Thanksgiving itself. For us it was not Black Friday it was "COOKIE DAY". This was the day mom gave us each a mixing bowl and recipe and we made huge amounts of cookie dough. She would always bake some but most of it was frozen for those last minute..."Mom, I need 2 dozen cookies for school tomorrow"...moments. This was when we could still take home-made treats to school ( wow, does that show my age or what?). It was also the day mom made carmels. Home-made, melt in your mouth carmels. I looked forward to this day all year! The carmels became treats for our teachers and friends for Christmas. Mom would crochet a small stocking and fill it with the carmels for each person. When I got old enough, Mom taught me how to make her carmels. This was a supremely big deal for me. As we grew older and moved out on our own, cookie day became a thing of the past.

This year I decided to re-institute the tradition of cookie day. So this morning, everyone descended upon my house and the mass chaos of making cookies began. We made chocolate chip, peanut-butter, oatmeal raisin, chocolate, sugar cookies and snickerdoodles. After the kids went home and it was just the grow-ups left I made the carmels. Luckily mom was here so I was able to ask as I went. It has been years since I have made them. But they turned out great. I have even been working on the stockings to go with them.

It was a blast! I plan to make this a yearly event again. I hope that my kids look forward to cookie day, in the years to come, as much as I did growing up.

Turkey Day

The turkey came out beautiful...even if it finished several hours early.

Ian and Rosie took advantage of the old wives tale about turkey making you sleepy.

No other comparison...

Last week was a tough one. We laid to rest my grandmother on Monday and my BFF's husband on Friday. But in the midst of this sorrow came a beautiful soul.

His name is Benjamin.

There is nothing in this world more priceless than holding a newborn child. The joy has no other comparison.

Thanksgiving thoughts

Give thanks in all circumstances...
--1 Thessalonians 5:18

Though it was not called Thanksgiving at the time, in 1621 a thanksgiving feast was celebrated by the pilgrims of the Plymouth colony along with about 90 Wampanoag Indians. The Pilgrims had suffered through a devastating winter in which nearly half their number died. Without the help of the Indians, all would have perished.After the first harvest, Governor William Bradford proclaimed a day of thanksgiving and prayer to God.

In 1623, a period of drought was answered by colonists with a proclamation of prayer and fasting. This prayer and fasting became a thanksgiving celebration when rains came during the prayers. Later that year, Governor Bradford proclaimed November 29 as a time for pilgrims to gather and "listen to ye pastor and render thanksgiving to ye Almighty God for all His blessings."

In 1863, Sarah Josepha Hale, convinced Abraham Lincoln to proclaim Thanksgiving a national holiday. For the date, she chose the last Thursday in November because of Washington's proclamation. In 1941, it was officially changed to the fourth Thursday in November.

Since Abraham Lincoln's proclamation, it has been a custom that all presidents of the United States make Thanksgiving proclamations every year. George W. Bush stated in one of his proclamations, that In thankfulness and humility, we acknowledge, especially now, our dependence on One greater than ourselves.

All of the early Thanksgiving celebrations had one thing in common. The thanksgiving was directed toward God. It did not matter that many had very hard times. The people knew that God was their creator and provider and that all good things ultimately came from Him.

It is in this spirit that I will be celebrating Thanksgiving this year.

I am thankful most of all from my family and friends. For without their love, friendship, and support I would not have made it through the past few months.

Trouble doth sire three children...

First we lost my grandmother. My best friend Liz took Rosie and Ian Monday during the funeral and supported me as I grieved and questioned.

Tuesday morning she calls me, they had found her husband. He had taken his own life. All else stopped in my world as I went to her. Luckily my sisters came over to handle my house so I could go handle Liz's. We have been best friends since high school, finish each others thoughts..the whole nine. She has a 4 yr old daughter who is struggling to understand the loss of her father. It has been an incredibly long few days.

Over the last 20 years of being in nursing, I have seen it time and time again. Death comes in 3's. The superstitious nurse in me is waiting for number three to show it's face.

Recap of thursday.

It started thursday about 2pm. I went to get grandma up from her nap. She just didn't look right. Her hands and feet were cold and purple and she seemed in pain. Terry, the hospice nurse was coming out for her normal appt anyway so I didn't call her and just I got grandma up and settled into her recliner. I gave her some of her pain medicine (Lortab liquid), it didn't seem to help much. She was moaning and it seemed hard for her to breathe, she was extremely restless and agitated. At this point, I knew things were going south quickly. There is a look a person's eyes get when they are dying. She had it.

Terry arrived and confirmed what I suspected...Grandma probably won't make it thru the night. It appeared that she had a GI bleed of some kind (based on pain and coffee-ground emesis). Terry got on the phone and started making arrangements for morphine, ativan and oxygen. Things to make grandma more comfortable. I called Mom and she came over. Meagan came and got Ian and Rosie. Terry had to leave for another client but arranged for another nurse to come in, Nadine.

I sat with grandma, watching. She was struggling to breathe and the mottling was all the way up her legs to her thighs. The meds and oxygen arrived. I gave her the first dose. It helped. She became less restless but her breathing was still really labored. My instructions were to give her the morphine (0.25 ml) and ativan every hour. as we approached the hour mark, she became more restless. I gave her the second dose of morpine but held off on the ativan. Again she calmed, and slowly her breathing became less labored until she simply stopped breathing. She passed at 9:09pm.

I have been the nurse who sat at the bedside as a patient died. I have been the nurse who gave the last dose of medication. But it is somehow different when it is your family. I know I did everything by the book and in grandma's best interest but the questions still come. It is hard not to question everything I did.

One of the hardest things to do was tell my grandfather. He has been slipping in to the alzheimer's abyss too but is still mostly aware. He had already gone to bed when she passed. After talking to my mom we decided to wait until morning to tell him. It was hard, even though he knew it was coming. They had been married 60+ years. I can't even imagine that kind of loss.

In Memory of Lorine Miller

LORINE MILLER
August 23, 1924 - November 12, 2009
BIOGRAPHY

Lorine Miller, 85, Bethany, died Thursday, November 12, 2009 in Smithville, MO.
She was born August 23, 1924 in Gilman City, MO, the daughter of Leroy Albert and Cliva Cornelia (Black) Norris.
On October 27, 1945, she married James H. Miller in Madison, CT. He survives at the home.
Lorine was a homemaker and a member of Beta Sigma Phi Sorority.
Survivors in addition to her husband are her daughters, Alexis Mayo, Kansas City, MO, Marilyn Miller, Torrington, WY and Jennifer Langlois, Overland Park, KS; brother, Neil Norris, Bethany, MO; 7 grandchildren, 13 great grandchildren.
She was preceded in death by her parents; sisters, Mildred Christopher and Alene Herring and brother, Kenneth Norris.
Funeral Services will be 1:00 p.m. Monday, November 16, at Roberson Funeral Home, Bethany, MO. Burial in Miriam Cemetery, Bethany, MO. Friends may call after 9:00 a.m. Monday at the funeral home. There is no scheduled family visitation.
Memorial contributions may be made to Alzheimer's Association in care of Roberson Funeral Home, P.O. Box 46, Bethany, MO 64424. Online condolences may be left at www.robersonfuneralhome.com.

Just something cute

The other day, Rosie was with me while I was getting ready. I was putting on my lipstick and she asked what it was. I answered, it was something mommies put on their mouth to look pretty. She informed me that she was a mommy too and so she needed some.

I laughed and said, "If you're a mommy then that makes me a grandma."

She looks at me for a moment and then says, " No, you can't be a grandma, you're not old."

uhm....I don't know what to call this one.

I haven't posted lately. I have had a lot on my mind but so much of it is too personal to share in an open forum such as this.

I am still working on the weightloss....although much more slowly than I would like. I am working out again, I haven been able to manage 15-30 most days without too much pain. Unfortunately, there have been a few days like today that just standing upright for a shower was incredibly painful. I wish my silly ankles would just heal already. I have been told I won't really be healed for at least 90 days after the break (Aug 31) but that was also based on me being compliant. Did I mention, I am impatient and have a hard time sitting still? SO needless to say, I have pushed and am now paying the price for it. My goal at this point is to be ready to start learning to run by Jan 1, 2010. That is 7 1/2 weeks. I know if I don't start training/learning to run by then, I won't be ready for the Hospital Hill Run in June. I want to be able to better, than just finish.

I am also working on becoming less scattered and more organized. Wish me luck on that one.

And last but not least....After my mini nervous breakdown about 3 weeks ago, I realized that I have a breaking point and it is REALLY not a pretty site. So, I am learning to say "No"......That's right, no. This is a major accomplishment for me and a real struggle too. So please don't take offense if you ask me for something, and I say no. I am trying to find my limits and not overload myself.

Pumpkins galore

Lisa, Meg and their kids came over to carve pumpkins with us. Nic and Lisa were the designated carvers.
We had a skull, a cat, a traditional jack-o-lantern, and a firey face.
Happy Halloween!!!

Day 2

I am most of the way thru day 2 of my weight loss journey. This particular diet plan has the first four days being VERY restrictive. I did great until 8pm. Then hungries took over and I ate a handful of candy corn. Amazingly a serving size is 20 corns and only 150 calories but it was still a really bad thing for me. but at least I didn't eat the whole bag.

This afternoon though, I was able to go to the store with Ian and not buy anything from the deli or stop on the way home at McD's. It took alot of willpower but I went to the store, got what I needed and came home. When I got home I made a smoothie. This plan actually builds in an afternoon snack. Yeah!! So I was able to indulge the munchies without completely blowing it. I am feeling pretty good about that.

Day 1

We had our GNO last Friday. It was a blast. It also brought something into a harsh reality for me. I am FAT..not a little over weight...MORBIDLY OBESE.

I am emotional eater. No doubt about it. This past week has been really rough, and I ate everything in sight. I have known this but have been ignoring it. I have let myself fall into a habit of "oh, I'll eat what I want...it wont matter". This is really bad. Lately, I have been eating and making excuses for it. This is not a good place to be. I joined WW with my mom back in the spring. I thought having someone to be accountable to ever week would help. It didn't. I didn't make the commitment to the plan I needed to for it to work. I was constantly saying..."I'll start tracking next week" or "2 points won't really matter." Well an extra couple of points add up really quickly. And now I feel rotten. My clothes are too tight, I am tired and grumpy, and generally unhappy with myself. I am 100lbs over weight. I have to make a serious change.

So here I am, making a commitment. I have found a reasonable diet plan to follow. I have printed it out and stuck it to my cabinet so I have no excuse not to follow it. I have shopped specifically for it so there is no excuse of not having things. I have taken a picture of myself as a motivator. I have been release by the othro's to exercise and the pain is lessening in my ankles.

NO MORE EXCUSES!!

It is not going to be easy I have no illusions about that.

Day 1 - 235lbs

My list

This week has been a real struggle for me. I have a lot of things on my mind these days. There are days I feel like the weight of the world is on me and I have done alot of crying this week. It was pointed out to me yesterday that even when I have fallen apart, I have made sure everyone else around me was taken care of first. I feel selfish if I have to say no. I am a fixer, a caretaker. I think that is why I became a nurse in the first place. I have had several people ask me this week "How / Why do you do it?".......My response is "Because, I don't know how not too."

I have been trying to get a grip on the level of stress I have so I decided to make a list of my stresses then go thru it and mark which ones I have control over and which ones I do not. (if you haven't figured it out, I am a control freak and slightly OCD about it). In make my list, I am realizing that I have very little control over most of the things going on in my life right now but I do have control over my reactions to it. So that is what I am working on right now. I have decided to ask the lord to give me strength to get thru today and I will worry about tomorrow when it gets here.

Costumes...

It seems every year we have gone round and round about Halloween costumes. The ones I picked out were too cute, the ones Ian picked out were to spooky, gorey, complicated, etc. It has always been a major compromise. This year however has been a dream come true.....

Rosie wanted to be a princess (no surprise). I found a beautiful cream and gold dress at the thrift store for $5, a tiara for $2 and she has silver and pink shoes to wear. Grand total $7 and a happy daughter.

Ian decided he wanted the dinosaur costume I found at K-Mart, it was $17 but well worth it. No arguments, no compromising, and a really cute costume.

We got home last night from picking it up and Ian had to try it on. He was so cute running around. The costume has this little tail on it so he would stop and shake it. It was really funny to watch.

Tim saw him and suggested we dress Nic up as a tower and have Rosie sit on his shoulder then have Ian curl around his feet ( the costume looks a little like a dragon). It would make a great picture. The princess in a tower guarded by a dragon.

Now, where to find fabric with a brick/stone print......

Answers

God answers all our prayers.

Sometimes he says...Yes.

Sometimes he says...No.

And sometimes he says...

You've got to be kidding!

The birthday tea party

Autumn colors

I do not enjoy the cold weather but I do love the colors it creates.

100-ish yr old rose bush

There was a rose bush at the house in Bethany that is 100-ish
years old. My sister took cuttings off of it this summer in hopes they would survive and allow us to
re-plant them and keep part of the rose bush alive. They didn't show any signs of rooting so we had given up hope.
But I was lazy and just left the pots on my front porch. As it turned out being lazy was a good thing this time...The cuttings had leaves.
Now if they just survive the winter.

My sweet kid....

I was reminded last night of what a sweet kid my Nic is. He comes up behind me in the kitchen and wraps his arms around me and just hugs me. It was one of those "mommy, I still love you hugs". I love it when he does that. It makes me feel warm and reminds me that I am very much loved. Then he preceded to make me an oh-so-yummy plate of Spinach fettuccine alfredo with mushrooms. This is one of my favorite comfort food dishes. This particular time it was so yummy I licked the plate. I thought the responses to my facebook status regarding his cooking were funny.

Kristin Smith I have the most awesome son in the world......he is making the yummiest alfredo with spinach noodles and saute mushrooms.

Yesterday at 8:16pm · Comment · Like

Meagan Wiley

MMMMmmmmmmm. Yummy. Can Nic come live with me????

Yesterday at 9:03pm · Delete

Lisa Eberspacher

wow! Yum! does he give cooking lessons? :)

9 hours ago · Delete

3am

Being awake at 3am is alot easier when you work night shift on a regular basis and get some sleep during the day. I am on my second night of being awoken by screaming from my g'pa. Each time after being startled awake, I jump up and go to his room to see what disaster has happened, expecting to find him on the floor.

Last night, he was extremely confused and very upset because he thought it was late morning and time to get up. It had been a whole day of confusing, anytime there is a major shift in the weather he gets confused. At 2:30pm he demanded his pills and supper because it was getting dark and time for bed. I explained it was just gloomy out and actually 2:30pm. Then he went to bed at 6:30pm, got up at 10p, then 2am, then 3am, 4am, and finally at 7am...each time yelling at the top of his lungs first. Needless to say I did not sleep. I did figure out that he had his watch on upside down so when it was 3am, it looked like 9 am to him.

Tonight however was a totally different story, although it started out the same....I am awoken by the yelling coming from his room. I go into check on him and he is in the throws of a night mare, or so it appears. He is safe, so I go back to bed. Just as I am getting settle back down he starts up again. Again I go in to check and make sure he isn't on the floor. He is wrestling with his blankets as if he wants to get up so I move them, all the while asking him if he is ok. He starts talking about a T-tube and getting it put together. I tell him I don't understand and he starts laughing. Now all of this is taking place at the top of our voices (he is deaf as a post without his hearing aide and not much better with it). So he is laughing and saying how I have a problem if I don't understand the class ( he used to be a professor). Then he switches to talking about the TV channel WTN and how it is only on at 3am. Through out all of this I am asking him to be quieter and not yell because he is going to wake up the kids. Usually this will quiet him. Tonight it just made him louder. He tells me , again at the top of his voice, "I will wake the kids up, I don't care." I am so exasperated at this point, I just turn my back to walk out the door. He starts yelling again. I tell him it is 3 am and since he isn't hurt I am going back to bed. He just laughs at me and says, "You have a real problem." It took everything I had not to yell back at him "Yes, and it is a selfish old man who gets a kick out of tormenting me". I would never say that to him in a million years, but tonight it is how I feel. I know this is the way dementia works, and I would love to be able to just put earplugs in and ignore the yelling but I can't because one of these times I am going to find him on the floor...again.

I think this is particular hard right now because I haven't been able to really get a significant break away. My sister who normally spells me is having major issues right now and needs to focus on herself and her family. Tim has been great about babysitting so I could run to the store or little errands. I am dreading when he leaves for Seattle on the 23rd. Then it will be just me for two weeks. Hopefully, he doesn't come back to find me having been committed. I am damn close now.

Now that I have gotten it off my chest and he appears to have quieted down, maybe, just maybe I can get a few hours more of sleep before the fun begins again.

The face of Alzheimer's

This is a collection of photographs I have taken of my grandmother since the beginning of this year. You can see the effects of Alzheimer's. The pictures are in chronological order.

Hospice Update

The hospice team has been on board for a week now. The nurse comes out twice a week and a wonderful aide comes twice a week as well. Having the aide has been a real help. She bathes and dresses g'ma everytime she is here. She even changes the sheets on the bed. G'pa is still unsure about this whole thing. We had a male nurse come out today. G'pa is convinced it was a doctor who "specializes in the elderly". I am tired today so rather than try to explain now and again in 10 minutes I just go with it. I seem to be doing that alot lately. But it is so much easier than constantly repeating myself and knowing that he will be asking the same question again in 10 minutes. Oh well.

Watercolors

Rosie and Ian love to do watercolor paintings. These are two of my favorites. I keep them hung on the kitchen cabinets so I can see them every day. They make me smile.

Major accomplishment and some ambitious thoughts

I had a major accomplishment today. I got up at 6:30, braved the chilly air and walked to the end of the block and back. And it is a good old fashion country block. This is major because it is the first time I have tried to walk for exercise since I broke/sprained my ankles. I have missed my walks. It was a time to think (or not think) uninterrupted by children. My goal is to make it to the end of the block and back once everyday for the rest of the week. Next week I will try to go twice each day. I know I have to build back up slowly. My ultimate goal is the Hospital Hill Run in June 2010. My sister, Sam, is doing the 1/2 marathon. My mom agreed to do the 5K. Last year I was able to finish the 10K. This year I am definitely doing the 10K again, but maybe, just maybe I can do the 1/2 marathon if I really put my mind to it. The race is 8 1/2 months away. I have to train back up to the 10 K anyway, so why not go for it and train for the 1/2.

I CAN DO THIS!

Rain and Smiles

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass ...

it's about learning how to dance in the rain.

This is a philosophy I am trying to adopt in my everyday life. I have decided to reinvent certain aspects of myself. I want to be the one that people look at and say "I wonder what she is smiling about".

So the next time it starts raining,look for the crazy smiling lady dancing in it...that'll be me!

New hairdo

I got my hair cut today, about 8 inches shorter.

I am really happy with the results.

THANKS, MOM!!

Mommy my tongue hurts

I told Rosie she could pick the last of the red tomatoes and the peppers today. She eats the tomatoes like most people eat apples. She did a great job of picking them. She even picked the little orange peppers. I am not sure what these are but I think they are habeneros. I told her to put them on the table and then got busy and didn't think about them.

Next thing I know, she comes to me and says..."Mommy, my tongue hurts." I am trying to figure this out. Why would her tongue be hurting?

"did you bite it?"..............."No"

"what were you eating?".................."these" she says and holds out her hand with the remains of two peppers.

Well, we now know they are spicy peppers and Rosie doesn't like them.

http://kristinkitchenrecipes.blogspot.com/

I have started a blog specifically for recipes and kitchen tips and gadgets. I am posting the ones I have collected and invite you to post your favorites.

~Happy Cooking

New recipe and a chance to get out.

Last night I attended a Castle Care class. The idea behind this is to teach life skills you may have missed somewhere along the line. This particular event was a cooking class. We made a Brown Sugar Muffin mix. Now for those that know me, you may ask why I chose to go to a cooking class since I am a fairly decent cook. But it wasn't about the class for me, or the recipe (which is delish), it was about getting a chance to hang out with people I enjoy being around and having fun. I thoroughly enjoyed the company. I have to admit though, I was very nervous going in. It has been a long time since I spent time with anyone that wasn't family. I am afraid I have forgotten some of the social graces. I realized recently that I miss having friends to hang out with and have become something of a hermit. So, I am making the effort to go to things. This is also a part of my plan to find myself again as I seem to have gotten lost somewhere along the line.

And here is the recipe. I made it last night, left it in the fridge overnite, and baked it this morning. It was great to have fresh muffins this morning without alot of work. You could bake it immediately if you wanted.

Brown Sugar Muffins

1 Cup Brown Sugar packed Cut together the butter and brown sugar.

1/2 Cup butter softened

1 tsp baking soda Dissolve baking soda into milk

1 Cup millk then add to sugar and butter mixture

1 egg Beat egg then add to mixture

1 tsp vanilla Add to mixture

2 Cups flour Add to mixture and stir thoroughly.

Place in greased muffin tin. Sprinkle tops with:

1/3 cup Brown sugar and 1/2 tsp of cinnamon mixed

Bake at 350 degrees for 20-25 minutes. Let cool and enjoy!

Remember you can make them the night before and just pop them in the oven in the morning.

Nic and Rosie play Final Countdown

Rosie had her pretend violin and was practicing with Nic.

Nic

I just love this picture of Nic.

Ian's invention

Ian showing off his latest invention. He loves his Tinkertoys.

Rosie was playing "fashion girl" Saturday night. I had given her some make up to play with. She dressed herself and decided she needed two purses and a cell phone to complete her look. And she did her own make-up. Should I be scared for when she becomes a teen?

Liberty's Fall Festival

Rosie and Alex enjoyed the afternoon at the Fall Festival in Liberty. They met a dancing fire hydrant....got "tattoos" on their arms....painted a car for the parade...played a violin and xylophone....enjoyed a juice red tomato......and last but not least, got to make their own bouncy balls in the Mad Scientist's Laboratory.

Finishing the dining room

I have been feeling like things are hanging in limbo so I decided I needed to do something. I chose to redo the dining room, it was something I could start and see thru to an end. This collage shows the work in progress and completion. Well sort of complete. I still want to find some grape vines to wrap at the top of the curtains to pull everything together. Grandpa thinks it is really great. He says it looks sophisticated. He keeps sitting in his chair at the table commenting on how good it looks and how much he likes it. Meg helped hang the wallpaper border and all the kids helped with the painting. I think it looks really good.
Now to pick another room to "finish".

-1.4lbs

I returned to Weight Watcher's last night after a brief hiatus due to my legs. I was expecting the worst....a major weight gain. Instead I was pleasantly surprised by a weight loss of 1.4 lbs. I was really pleased with this. I have been continuing to pay attention to my food intake but haven't really been able to work out. I never thought I would say this, but I miss working out. I had gotten into a routine and then when I fell I had to stop. I have tried to continue the ab and upper body workouts but it is not the same. I don't get the same release of stress and the feeling of accomplishment that I get when I have walked/run a distance. According to the ortho I only have to be in the boot for another week or so. I am hopeful that I will be able to go back to at least walking for exercise. I know that I will have to build back up slowly. But I can't wait!!

Comments not working

It appears that for some reason comments are not working on my blog. I have played around with some of the settings, hopefully this will fix the problem.

Up and Down and all Around....

Last week, grandpa Jim was yelling that he didn't feel good. I went to him and asked what was wrong.

 His reply..."I haven't eaten in three days!"

Now the first thing that ran thru my mind was ...."If you haven't eaten in three days then who is the grumpy old man sitting at the kitchen table every morning at 7am, demanding 2 eggs over-easy, 1 sausage patty and HOT hot chocolate?" 

I bit my tongue and reassured him that he had eaten and that I would be glad to fix him something to eat right now if he was hungry. He was appeased with a PB&J (his sandwich of choice).

Fast forward a day.... he was upset because in his mind his car had been stolen. In reality is was taken away from him because he is not safe behind the wheel. 

Tonight, I made a nice dinner of tilapia, pasta and veggies. Normally he likes this meal. Tonight he was upset because I didn't make him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. 

Now this is countered by him telling me...."that little girl (Rosie) is such a pistol. I just love to watch her run."

and " You know, you do such a good job for me and Lorine. I just don't know how you do it all."

It is like being on a carousel...Up and Down and all Around.

What I do...

Alzheimers disease is defined as a progressive and irreversible mental deterioration. It often begins with intermittent states of mental confusion, disorientation, and loss of recent memory. Subsequently, it progresses to severe impairment in all realms of thinking, memory, language, and communication. 

I have worked in healthcare for 18 years, first as a nursing assistant and now as a nurse. For the most part I have worked in geriatrics, specializing in Alzheimer's and Memory Loss. I started out working in nursing homes because it was a decent job. I soon discovered that I have a special place in my heart for elderly and particularly for those suffering with this disease.  I went back to school and earned my nursing license and continued to work with in the geriatric field.  

Now I live with it .....or to be more precise...I live with my grandparents who suffer with  Alzheimer's. It is a daily roller coaster ride. My grandmother is no longer ambulatory and requires everything to be done for her. She can be sweet and kissing you on the cheek one moment and trying to hit you the next.  She has the occasional lucid moment and can tell you if she is hungry or cold. She rarely recognizes anyone. But occasionally she will smile when she looks at my grandpa. I have captured a few moments on film of her with Rosie, coloring and smiling. My grandfather suffers from short-term memory loss. He struggles to remember the simple things, like the day of the week. He hides things and then tells me they must have been stolen. He struggles with his loss of control of his surrounds and copes with this by being very demanding. We have settled into a fairly simple routine and as long as that routine is in place, all is good. 


People have asked me "how do you do it?" My response is that I don't know how not to do it. It is my nature, it is part of who I am, it is what I do.  

Something I felt needed to be shared...

To get up in the morning only to know that you will have to face another obstacle takes STRENGTH. 
To smile when the only thing you can do is cry takes BRAVERY.
To act happy & laugh when you know that times are at their worst takes COURAGE.
To be joyous when the only good news is best of the bad news takes SUPPORT.
To be there & help others through the roughest times in life takes LOVE.

This was on a friend's FB page and I just couldn't pass up the opportunity to share it. 

A productive weekend...

Here are the highlights of my productive weekend.
1) I decided after having heard the rave reviews of my sister, Meg's shredded pork, that I needed to try it. So last night I started the crockpot with a pork shoulder, a bottle of Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ Sauce, half a bottle of liquid smoke, and some Worcestershire sauce. This morning it was so tender it fell off the bone with a touch of the tongs. My boys thought it was pretty good. Or at least that's what they said when they stopped gobbling to breath.
2) I got half of the dining room closet cleaned out and a good start on food storage going....there is more than just pasta in there now. I found an awesome deal on cake mixes, flour, sugar, canned veggies, and BBQ sauce.  I can't wait to go to the cannery with RS.
3) Finally got the paint for the dining room and got it painted. It is not done yet....I still have to find a chair rail border that I like. I will post pics when / if I get it done.
4)Manged to clean and (drumroll please) vacuum the livingroom. Now for those who haven't tried it , you should try vacuuming when you have two bum ankles....it is a hoot.
All in all, I felt pretty productive this weekend. :)

Rest in Peace Patrick Swayze

Patrick Swayze died today. He is not someone I knew personally, but I feel a loss at his death. You see, he had the same cancer as my dad and was diagnosed about 4 months before my Dad. I have watched his battles as I watched my Dad's. I felt hope when a treatment seemed to stall the cancer's growth. I felt heartache for him and his family as the disease ravaged his body, knowing the helplessness they must have felt. I know that his fight was long and painful. I hope that his passing was peaceful. I wish his family peace and comfort.

Need for recipes

I have put out the call for recipes. I realized I have very few recipes from family and friends. I would appreciate any recipes you can send me.

Who knows....there may just be something in it for you.....Hehehehehe

Please send them to

kristin.elaine@gmail.com

LOL

This was a post I made on Facebook back on 9/5 that I wanted to archive. I loved the comments I got. They made me smile and laugh out loud.

Kristin Smith

is contemplating life, the universe, and everything.....but I am not coming up with 42.


Lisa Eberspacher likes this.

Elizabeth Anderson LOL - I always get 49.....maybe it was a misprint?

Fred R Whitehead III Easy. Be4 you fell, you had 2 good legs.... I'm in trouble for that aren't I?

Friendship...

Today at church we had a wonderful lesson about friendship. Both being a friend and having friends. We listed several traits of a good friend...

KIND...FAITHFUL...POSITIVE...NOBLE...UNCONDITIONALLY LOVING...ENCOURAGING...UNDAUNTED...TRUTHFUL...SHARE IN YOUR JOYS AND SORROWS...COMPASSIONATE...GIVE AND RECIEVE SERVICE

I am very blessed to have a best friend. I met her in my freshman year in high school and we have been joined at the hip ever since. She knows every detail of my life...the good, the bad and the very, very ugly. She has stuck by me through it all. Now this is not to say that we haven't had our fights and trials. At one point we didn't speak for several years. But once the effort was made to reconnect it was as if no time had passed. I am very thankful to have her in my life. She truely understands me, even when I can't tell her what is wrong. I strive to be as good a friend to her as she is to me.

I am also very blessed to have sisters (this includes my sis-inlaws) that are also my friends. We grew up joking about the "Mayo Mafia". The idea being that once you are accepted by our family, you are in for life and if you were born into the family then it goes without saying. The other part of this is that family ALWAYS protects, loves, and stands up for family. No matter what. We are not bound only by blood or marriage but by friendship too. "...thou knowest not how strong those ties are that bind my soul and heart to thee..." (Joseph Smith)

"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."

~John 15:13

Feeling.....

So I have spent a good part of the last week feeling sorry for myself. I was very depressed and just felt like my world was crumbling around my ears. Monday I was surounded by family. We took Labor day as an excuse to fire up the grill and eat lots of desserts. But, even with everyone here, I felt lonely....or more to the point alone. It was one of those emotional rollercoaster rides.

I woke up Tuesday morning though, feeling great. I was happy and had energy. I am chalking this up to the cathartic atributes of a good cry. Monday night, I blubbered.....there is no other way to describe it. I talked with my friend who listened and advised and generally just let me know I wasn't alone in this and was loved. It was just what I needed.

So here's to a good friend and a cathartic cry.

Frustration...

I went to my ortho appointment this morning. I saw two doctors. Both of which agree the left leg is definitely broken. It is a non-displaced tibia fracture. The right leg is a grade 2 sprain. No significant tears or damage to the ligaments or tendons. So I am in a cast boot on the left and a splint on the right. I have been told I can weight-bear as tolerated with crutches. Their definition of tolerated is not the same as mine. I am ok for about 45 minutes on my feet then I HAVE to sit down because the pain and swelling become more than I am willing to tolerate.

It is terribly frustrating. I am also not used to asking for help. I try to be the one who people come to when they need help. My friends have been really great and brought over several dinner that are oven ready. The RS president (woman's group at church), came over and cleaned my kitchen. The whole time I am sitting there apoligizing because I feel bad she is doing it. People keep asking me what they can do and I don't know how to respond. There are things I am finding I can't do but I feel bad asking for help with them. I feel like I should be able to do it.

The fates have conspired...

Apparently, I needed to be reminded to take some time off. Yesterday, I fell going out to the garage and managed to break my left leg just above the ankle and severely sprained my right ankle. I am in a temporary cast on the left and an air cast on the right. I managed to get up this morning on my crutches and make a reasonable breakfast for g'pa and get g'ma up for the day. Thankfully g'ma was extremely cooperative. it took quite awhile but I managed.

I was also able to get an appointment set up with the orthopeadic group at NKC hospital. They were very nice and willing to see me even though I do not have insurance. I spoke with a very helpful woman in the bookkeeping department who agreed to arrange a payment plan for me. Unfortunately it will make the next several months very tight. I will have $$$ going out to pay for Nic's tuition and now $$$ going out to pay for my ortho.

The Relief Society President (my churches woman's group) came by this morning too. She just wanted to check on me and see what I might need. Mom had called her and told her what had happened. She was great. She chatted for awhile and then she cleaned up my kitchen. I told her I am not very good at being a patient and asking for help and that I really appreciated her doing it.

I guess I am going to have to learn to take it easy for a bit. No matter how difficult it might be.