My list

This week has been a real struggle for me. I have a lot of things on my mind these days. There are days I feel like the weight of the world is on me and I have done alot of crying this week. It was pointed out to me yesterday that even when I have fallen apart, I have made sure everyone else around me was taken care of first. I feel selfish if I have to say no. I am a fixer, a caretaker. I think that is why I became a nurse in the first place. I have had several people ask me this week "How / Why do you do it?".......My response is "Because, I don't know how not too."

I have been trying to get a grip on the level of stress I have so I decided to make a list of my stresses then go thru it and mark which ones I have control over and which ones I do not. (if you haven't figured it out, I am a control freak and slightly OCD about it). In make my list, I am realizing that I have very little control over most of the things going on in my life right now but I do have control over my reactions to it. So that is what I am working on right now. I have decided to ask the lord to give me strength to get thru today and I will worry about tomorrow when it gets here.