And spring returns.....

And spring has sprung. 

I took these around our neighborhood after the snow melted. It is really starting to look like spring....now if we could just get the temperatures to warm up.

Do something

I have been trying to figure out something I could "do" regarding Dad's cancer diagnosis. I have also been trying to figure out how to "do" something to motivate myself to get healthy and reduce my own risk factors. Last week, I got an email from PanCan.org. It was about the Hospital Hill run. The run is a way to raise money for your cause. I have decided to do the 10K run to raise money for Pancreatic Cancer Action Network and to raise awareness of the disease and the need for money to do research  and to treat those who already have it.  This 10K also gives me a goal and a reason to get up and go to the gym every morning. The occassional "you go girl", emails,  prayers, and good thoughts would really be appreciated to keep me motivated.

 If you are interested in how the fundraising is coming along or want to make your own donation, check out.....http://www.firstgiving.com/daddygirls

If you want to know more about the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network go to www.pancan.org

What happened to Spring?

When Nic and I left for the gym this morning it was raining. By the time we were done and heading home we were greeted with snow. Big, heavy, wet snow flakes. 

What happened to SPRING?

Crash, Bang, BOOM

Crash, bang, rattle, boom , crash, rattle, rattle....these were the sounds that were coming form my dining room. The first thought I had, as I ran from the other side of the house, was that someone had fallen and taken the dining room table with them. Instead I was greeted by the sight of our dog, Sumner, having lost his mind and trying to climb thru the picture window. 

This little creature was the cause of all the commotion as he scampered around the tree in the front yard.

Nic and Katie all dressed up.

Nic and Katie were all dressed up for a dance last weekend but stopped long enough to apprease the pavarotzi.

Super Mom

Quiz results

I took the "Which type of woman are you?" quiz on Facebook today.

The  result is: Lovely Lady

You are lovely and caring. You help others and spread out a lot of sympathy. Your life aim maybe is to serve the people. But your weakness is that you forget about yourself, your own needs. All your time is hold back for your friends and family. You are always there for people in trouble. Ready for any emergency. You make a lot of sacrifices just to be a good human. But every woman has her needs, her longings and a destiny. Don't loose yourself in work or curing other people's souls. You will have your own problems in your life. Another problem is that you don't say your opinion when it's right and important to say it. People trample onto your soul if you are always so kind and lovely and helpful. They will play on you. Though you should try to relax more and enjoy your life, you should not loose the gift that was given to you to help others . Not everyone is created this way... You are uniqe and rare!

It is a little scarey how acurate it is.

In loving memory...

Sarah Louise Peyton passed away this morning after a brave battle with pancreatic cancer.  The quote below says everything about Aunt Sarah. 

"Love does not measure; it just gives." -Mother Teresa

She is loved and will be missed. 

The Wall

Here is a recap of the last two weeks or so....

G'pa went to the hospital for shortness of breath. he was hospitalized for a week. He was released to rehab for physical therapy. He was there for 1 1/2 days and was sent back to the hospital with a fever of 102. He had an infection called C-diff. It is nasty stuff but very treatable. So back to rehab he went after a couple of days.  About every two days I get the angry phone call asking me why I havent come to get him yet. Yesterday I went to pick up his laundry and visit for a bit and spent most of the time argueing with him about why he wasn't coming home with me right then. I explained that he needed to get stronger and be able to use his walker, which at the moment he is not. He is also starting to have more and more episodes of confusion and dementia. 

Intertwined with this, my dad went in for a "routine" endoscopy. He ended up vomiting while he was still under and spent a week in the hospital for suspected aspiration pneumonia. He got home, had his chemo. He has also had a headache for two months so they did and MRI this week. We don't know the results yet. He has a CT and PET scan scheduled for next week to check on the tumor status. Then last night he was admitted to ICU for monitoring due to a fever and another  infection (possibly related to the aspiration pneumonia). 

My husband has been fighting open wounds on his legs and finally went to the wound clinic. They cleaned, medicated and wrapped him up. After three visits they are finally healing. This is after 5 months of constant problems and 2 ER visits. He still has to have them wrapped daily but at least they are healing. They did more blood work today so we will see what it has to say next week.

My "mother-in-law" (this is the aunt who raised Sean after his mother passed) She has been fighting pancreatic cancer. She was a nurse and so, opted for chemo and a trial therapy. The thought the tumor had shrunk with the chemo and she was stable enough for surgery but when they got in there, they discovered the cancer had metastisised to her liver and they werent able to do anything. She was sent home with hospice last Friday. We spent most of the weekend down at her house. Their were relatives there that Sean hadn't seen in years and I had never met. It was a little intimidating.  I took the camera and insisted on taking everyone's pictures. I want to be able to show them to Rosie and Ian so they know their family. Two nights ago we got a call that they had started 6 hour watches on Sarah because her breathing was becoming more labored. All I can do in pray she has peace and knows how loved she is.

My g'ma has finally recovered from the UTI she had and is getting more fiesty.Then Tuesday, I got a call from her MD office telling me they want a bone scan done. Apparently there was some value on her last blood work that indicated concern. She is in late stage Alzheimer's, I don't know how they think she is going to cooperate with a scan. I don't think she should be sedated because of the risks and if they do find something, what then? She isn't a candidate for surgery. We are still working on whether or not to go forward with it.

Ian tells me last night that we need to plan some "alone time". This is right after a screaming fit because he wasn't getting his way about something.  I know this is his way of getting my attention because I haven't been giving him enough. I am trying to figure out how to give him more. I know he is feeling left out. Without Tim around he doesn't get much one on one attention. (Tim is still in Washington). 

Rosie is being more crabby too. And I am sure it is due to lack of attention on my part. She also misses Nic. He is home most weekends but then we have been gone alot. 

As for me, I have been on the back burner. I have been so busy taking care of everyone else that I don't have any energy left over for me. I can't leave the house unless someone can watch g'ma or I take her with me.  It is taking it's toll.  I also miss having my boys around. I hit my wall yesterday. 

This morning, I feel like I spent the night crashing into it....... repeatedly. 

Update

I think I have now met all the ER docs at Spelman and am working on all the on-call cardiologists and MD's at St. Luke's -Barry Rd.

First it was Sean, he has venous stasis ulcers that got infected on both legs. Took going twice and seeing two different docs. He is still dealing with them not healing.

Then it was Rosie, she developed a diaper rash that then got infected and abscessed in two areas. They sent us down to Children's Mercy Hosp. There they were able to drain the abscesses and get her on an antibiotic. It is looking really good today.

Next it was G'pa. He woke me up last Thursday nite because he couldn't breath. You have to understand that he NEVER voluntarily goes to the ER. So when I asked him if he wanted to go and he immediately said yes and got dressed, I knew something was not right. He ended up transferred and admitted to St. Luke's for CHF and Pneumonia.  They got his cardiac stuff stabilized then started working on the pneumonia. Monday, there was concern that his creatinine was to high so they gave him fluids to try to flush the kidneys. Yesterday it had gone up another 0.1 points. Still working in this one, basically his kidneys aren't very happy right now. In addition, he had a "episode" of extreme confusion , combativeness and was very argumentative. This is not his norm with nurses and MD's....with me he can get that way some times....but them, no. So I went down there and sat with with him so they could get the labs and EKG they needed. They did a head CT but didn't find a cause for the "episode". We are now in wait and see mode.

In the meantime, Ian got the evil ick that everyone else had and has been a miserable child to deal with. He is better and went back to school this week. Although, he still has a nagging cough.

G'ma has also caught the ick and has a UTI. Took her to the MD and they put her on an antibiotic that will cover the kidneys and lungs.  Again this is a wait and see situation. I am hopeful the meds will kick in and she will be back to telling the kids to "hush" soon.

Tim left for Seattle yesterday. 

Nic seems to have gotten over the evil ick with minimal lasting effects. He starts track next week. So be on the look out for divots in the back yard as he perfects his shot put techniques.

As for me.....I got the evil ick too, but mine went straight to my sinuses. I am now fighting a sinus infection.  My biggest issue right now is finding the time and energy to keep the house clean, do laundry, feed people and run errands. 

It seems to be a losing battle, but I press on.

I want a do-over.....please!

I want a do-over for the past week. 

First I want the evil ick that has invaded our house to go away and NEVER come back.

Sean got sick, Nic and Tim were sick, Rosie was sick with it and now Ian has it. And I was sick with, even though Mommies aren't allowed to be sick.

Second , I want to have taken Rosie to the ER sooner than I did.

Rosie broke out with a rash. I thought it was due to the evil ick or her pull-ups so, I switched her to cloth panties. The rash got worse. I thought maybe chicken pox, as it was itching her. Then the rash developed white pus on the tops. Next, she had what resembled a boil on her flank. I  treated it like a boil and put warm compresses on it til it burst. Then cleaned it. The rash continued to itch so still thinking it might be chicken pox, I put Rosie in a baking soda bath. It helped for a bit. But I noticed she had a boil (#2) on her thigh. It hurt her alot. Now, I am really not sure what I am dealing with. She has had a cold symptoms all week and this rash and now another huge boil (#3) in her groin. I am completely freaked out so I took her to the local ER. The MD, very nice, calm guy, looked at her and said I think this is Staph and you will need to take her to Children's Mercy so they can sedate her and open them up. (This is where I recieved my first nomination for the worst mom of the year award.) He set everything up and we headed off (there is more to the heading off part but I will get into that in a minute). Once at Children's we were seen by Dr. Giovanni, who had been warned we were coming. She looked at Rosie and agreed that it was probably Staph or MRSA and would require opening the abcesses to drain them. That done (I will spare you the details), we headed home.

Third, I wish I had been able to come up with a better solution than having Nic watch g'ma.

Not being able to get ahold of anyone else, I called my ever faithful son Nic and asked him to come babysit so I could take Rosie to the hospital. He agreed. I felt horrible having to ask him but knew he could handle it (all except getting g'ma to bed) and would know what to do in an emergency.  After I picked him up (this is the more than just packing up and going part) and picked up Sean from work, I got ahold of Mom. She agreed to come over and help Nic get g'ma to bed. I expected she would go home afterwords. Instead she stayed. She said she wasnt comfortable leaving Nic there by himself. I agree with here it wasnt the ideal situation but I couldn't come up with a better one. (This is where I recieved by 2nd nomination for worst mother or the year.)

Fourth,  it would have been great if I had remembered that on Fridays Sean goes in at 9a.

(And in a special catagory, the nomination for worst wife of the year). I went to the store this morning thinking I could get things done and get back by 10 a so Sean could get to work by 11a. He didn't say anything, so off I went at 8:15. Needless to say I figured this out at 9:45, on my way home.......................... He was late.

So if some one has a "Wayback Machine" I can borrow I would really like a do-over.

Mommies aren't allowed to be sick....

Mommies do not get sick. It's a rule. But, don't look for it in your handy-dandy "What to Expect When You're the Mom" book. They don't tell you the ugly truth - moms are not allowed to be sick, even if we do have a doctor's note.

Oh, we're allowed to catch germs, of course. Bacteria and viruses are allowed to invade our bodies. But we're not allowed to indulge them by doing something frivolous like staying in bed and drinking plenty of fluids.

So naturally, we  try to avoid getting sick. This isn't easy. We live with children, who everyone knows are walking, talking, coughing Petri dishes who bring home every germ imaginable. It does not matter how many times we wash our hands. It doesn't matter how many counters and sinks we wipe down with anti-bacterial wipes. Frankly, we could shower with Purel and we would still be exposed to germs.

But, as every mommy of a 2-year old knows, just because you aren't allowed to do something, doesn't mean you're not going to do it anyway. The problem is, when mommies get sick, all hell breaks loose. I know this from experience. I have spent the last two days being sick. 

The problem is, I'm the mom. And apparently, even though we all live in the same house - they don't know where anything is. So I am pestered constantly to find bread, medicine, toys, TV channels and  clean underwear.

And then  I took the cold medicine - and had hallucinations. At least I hope that they were hallucinations and that there really aren't several large elephants living in my bedroom .

Being the mommy when you're sick sucks!!

Scene from Pretty Woman

For those who don't know, Pretty Woman is one of my favorite movies.  There is one scene where Vivian (Julia Roberts) comes to the concierge, Barney (Hector Elizondo), very upset because she has money to spend and no one will let her. He was able to fix her problem with the help of a friend and a phone call. 

I have felt like I was living this scene today. Unfortunately for me, there is no concierge with a shiny silver phone to come to my rescue.  I got our tax return and wanted to get some things today. Only no one wants to take my check and I haven't gotten my debit card yet.  There wasn't any problem yesterday when I wanted to buy groceries. I double checked to make sure the deposit had cleared (it cleared yesterday) but still could not purchase my items.   Luckily, I wasn't purchasing anything that can't wait a few days for my debit card to arrive or the bank to be open. It was just terribly frustrating.

And hysterical laughter insued

This past week has been less eventful than the previous week.  We only had one major mishap with Rosie. As a mother of four, I should know better than to let a two year old wash her own hands. Apparently she thought she needed to wash her face too. While washing her face, she pushed the soap up to get it out of her eyes and thought...well my hair is already wet, might as well wash it too. So 1/2 a botttle of baby wash later, she comes to me and says , "Mommy, I need help!" All I could do was laugh. It was one of those moments that you know you should be upset but it is hysterically funny instead. 

And people wonder why moms are tired....

Names...

YOUR REAL NAME: Kristin Elaine VanCleave Smith

WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother and fathers middle names) Miller Claude

YOUR SECRET SPY NAME: (your first name backwards) Nitsirk

NASCAR NAME: (first name of your mother's dad, father's dad) Jim Hays

STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name) Smikr

DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal) Green Panda

SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, county where you were born) Elaine Indianna

SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav drink, add "THE" to the beginning) The Purple Hypnotic

FLY NAME: (first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name) Krth

STREET NAME: (fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie) Chocolate Oatmeal

PORN STAR NAME: (1st pet's name, street you grew up) Pudding Beechaven Drive

YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of last name plus izzle) Smiizzle

YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one of your pets) Black Sumner

YOUR NEXT CHILDS NAME: (name of your fav perfume/cologne, fav candy) Ombre Rose Peppermint

You have to answer in ONE word...

This is one of the few survey thingies I think I might be able to do.You are supposed to type only ONE word answers. Here goes.....

It's harder than you think!! 

Where is your cell phone?....kitchen
Your hair? .........messy
Your father? .......amazing
Your favorite thing? .........daffodils
Your dream last night?...none
Your favorite drink? ...........lemonade
Your dream/goal? ..........survive
The room you are in? ......kitchen
Your fear? ........failing
Where do you want to be in 6 years?.....comfortable
Muffins? .............sweet
One of your wish list items?.........book
Where you grew up? .......Midwest
The last thing you did? .......dinner
What are you wearing?.......jeans
Your TV?........... news
Your pets? .........dog
Your computer? .....laptop
Your life? .........complicated
Your mood? ........exasperated
Missing someone? ....yes
Your car? ....van
Favorite store?.....thrift
Your summer? .....fun
Your favorite color? ........green
When is the last time you laughed? ...today
Last time you cried? ....... saturday
Three people who email me? ..........sean, david, nic
Favorite foods? ........pasta
Where would you rather be right now? ....elsewhere

weighty humor....

This was just cool...

This is the sign outside of my grandparents MD's private office. I just thought it was really cool.

Combining of Blogs

For those of you following my other blog about the grandparents, I have combine that with this one. I found that it is easier. My blogs will continue to post to Multiply as well.

Simplify where you can. :)